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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Miserable Quotes
Funny Quotes about Miserable

Let these funny Miserable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If my films make one more person miserable,
I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous


 

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

No society can surely be flourishing and happy,
of which the far greater part of the members are poor and miserable.
- Adam Smith


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Be miserable.
Or motivate yourself.
Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
- Wayne Dyer

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

When you cry and weep,
when you are miserable,
you are alone.
When you celebrate,
the whole existence participates with you.
Only in celebration
do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
Only in celebration
do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
- Osho

Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho

The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,
nothing which is more important than his own personal safety,
is a miserable creature and has no chance of being
free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- John Stuart Mill

Marriage is miserable unless you find the right person
that is your soulmate and that takes a lot of looking.
- Marvin Gaye

The key to sitcom success is miserable people.
If you see a happy couple, it's just gone,
like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers.
- Matthew Perry

Besides paid white laborers, there was everywhere a
class of white servants bound without wages for a term of years,
and a more miserable class of Negro slaves.
- Albert Bushnell Hart

Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so.
- Jacopo Sannazaro

I think we're miserable partly because we have only one god,
and that's economics.
- James Hillman

No one is really miserable who has not tried to cheapen life.
- David Starr Jordan

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
- Ambrose Bierce

Artie travels all the time.
The rehearsals were just miserable.
Artie and I fought all the time.
He didn't want to do the show with my band;
he just wanted me on acoustic guitar.
- Paul Simon

My wife is the most awesome person in the universe.
She's made this experience much less miserable for me,
with her compassion, patience and understanding.
- Wil Wheaton

Locations are all tough, all miserable.
I never left the sound stage for 18 years at Warners.
We never went outside the studio, not even for big scenes.
- Bette Davis

The trouble with many men is that they have got just
enough religion to make them miserable.
If there is not joy in religion, you have got a leak in your religion.
- Billy Sunday

It is not every man who can be exquisitely miserable,
any more than exquisitely happy.
- James Boswell

There is no more miserable human being than one in
whom nothing is habitual but indecision.
- William James

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

I think that people who get to a certain position,
and then try to ferociously defend it or build on it,
it's kind of a dead-end street.
You see people becoming miserable that way.
- Viggo Mortensen

Without literature my life would be miserable.
- Naguib Mahfouz

Fate often puts all the material for happiness and
prosperity into a man's hands just to see how miserable
he can make himself with them.
- Don Marquis

I am begining to look more and more like my miserable imitators.
- Rudolph Valentino

We weren't put here to be miserable.
We were put here to do the best we can,
and we should take our energy and improve our state of being.
- Lenny Kravitz

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen

I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good,
or make you feel miserable either.
Life is just supposed to make you feel.
- Gloria Naylor

Now the Bible tells us that we are all by nature,
sinners, that we are slaves to sin and Satan,
and that unless we are converted, or born again,
we must be miserable forever.
- Jupiter Hammon

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to
arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
- Erma Bombeck

You don't even have to hate to have a perfectly miserable time.
- Elizabeth Wurtzel

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
- Quentin Crisp

Instead of seeing depression as a dysfunction,
it is a functioning phenomenon.
It stops you cold, sets you down, makes you damn miserable.
- James Hillman

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can
stay single and make thousands miserable?
- Carrie P. Snow

I'm a happy-go-lucky character.
I'm not that miserable.
But I can never let anyone into my world.
- Noel Gallagher

We must not fear daylight just because it almost always
illuminates a miserable world.
- Rene Magritte

No thoroughly occupied person was ever found really miserable.
- Walter Savage Landor

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable,
but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?
- Princess Diana

Sure you're powerless, sure you're just one person,
sure you can't change anything...
but you don't have to be miserable about it as well.
- Lydia Lunch

If you're always strict with yourself,
life gets miserable.
And we're supposed to enjoy life.
- Mia Maestro

For the last few years, it's been so chic for everybody to be miserable.
Like if you're in with the cool crowd,
you can't be happy.
- Lenny Kravitz

Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.
- Voltaire

The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom,
miserable about my raging acne.
- Moon Unit Zappa

So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons,
Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable.
- Aldous Huxley

I'm not done yet making people miserable.
If they're going to make me miserable,
then I'm going to make them miserable.
- Brett Hull

Nobody really cares if you're miserable,
so you might as well be happy.
- Cynthia Nelms

I think at times I appear to be miserable when I am not...
I might be having quite a good thought at that moment,
but it seems I look miserable.
I am not.
- Damon Hill

Only people have been through that miserable time will
recall the pass from their deep memory.
- Zhang Yimou

A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast,
a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.
- Francis Bacon

Audiences like their blues singers to be miserable.
- Janis Joplin

People think I'm a miserable sod but it's only because
I get asked such bloody miserable questions.
- Nick Cave

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully
comfortable while you're being miserable.
- Clare Boothe Luce

Here's to five miserable months on the wagon and the
irreparable harm that it's caused me.
- Stanley Kubrick

Choosing to be miserable is an option,
but not one I recommend.
- Darren L. Johnson

In spite of holidays when I was free to visit London
theatres and explore the countryside,
I spent four very miserable years as a colonial at an English school.
- Patrick White

Acquisition means life to miserable mortals.
- Hesiod

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
- Chris Rock

I've been on jobs where there's that one actor who is just a miserable,
miserable no-good, dirty bastard, and it just turns the whole process sour.
- Joe Pantoliano

May I kiss you then? On this miserable paper? I might
as well open the window and kiss the night air.
- Franz Kafka

No one is so miserable as the poor person who maintains
the appearance of wealth.
- Charles Spurgeon

I am miserable when I'm in a movie I'm not proud of
and a movie that I don't want to do.
- Ryan Phillippe

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable,
than risk being happy.
- Robert Anthony

But I married a guy who treated me very badly,
but I was happy.
I was miserable, so I was happy.
- Lynn Johnston

Always leave something to wish for; otherwise you will
be miserable from your very happiness.
- Baltasar Gracian

Life, an age to the miserable, and a moment to the happy.
- Francis Bacon


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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