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Let these funny Shortchange Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Today is what life is all about.
When I desire for the future to arrive quickly,
I become unable to savor today.
I can't live in tomorrow, and when I focus
all my energies on the future, I shortchange today.
Likewise, fearing the future emasculates today,
leaving it dry and lifeless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous
Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb
Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean
Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein
The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We stand today on the edge of a new frontier ...
a frontier of unknown opportunities and perils -
a frontier of unfulfilled hopes and threats.
- John F. Kennedy
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are over 30, get out your high-school yearbook
and look for ideas you can apply today -
perhaps an innocent optimism about life -
perhaps a hobby you loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love
and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.
- Benjamin Franklin
Create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to paint life in bold colors.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today... maybe I can take one step
on that profoundly complex path to peace.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
- Thomas Jefferson
(also attributed to Benjamin Franklin and Lord Chesterfield)
It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
There is NOTHING that I "must",
"have to", or "should" do today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to honor your being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whatever happened, forgive others, forgive yourself,
move forward, live for today and tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I See Spirit In The Face of Everyone I Meet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Roar My Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are today where your thoughts have brought.
- James Allen
Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is difficult to say what is impossible,
for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today
and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard
Let Today be a Thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is dead. Tomorrow is a dream.
Today - each today - is where the action is
where all of life occurs.
Today IS your life - your only life.
Life today to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous
Today Is More Joyful Than Yesterday,
And Tomorrow Will Be More Joyful Still.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.