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Funny Fat Quotes
Funny Quotes about Fat

Let these funny Fat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous


 

I found there was only one way to look thin:
hang out with fat people.
- Rodney Dangerfield

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard


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Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only way you get that fat off is to eat less and exercise more.
- Jack LaLanne

I don't mind that I'm fat.
You still get the same money.
- Marlon Brando

It's not about weight, it's about fitness,
and one component of being fit is to have relatively low body fat,
because fat is not very efficient, whereas muscle is.
- Deborah Bull

A boxer's diet should be low in fat and high in proteins and sugar.
Therefore you should eat plenty of lean meat,
milk, leafy vegetables, and fresh fruit and ice cream for sugar.
- Gene Tunney

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
- Joan Rivers

Chicken fat, beef fat, fish fat, fried foods -
these are the foods that fuel our fat genes by giving
them raw materials for building body fat.
- Neal Barnard

A lean compromise is better than a fat lawsuit.
- George Herbert

You can't be fat and fast, too; so lift,
run, diet and work.
- Hank Stram

If you've got a big gut and you start doing sit-ups,
you are going to get bigger because you build up the muscle.
You've got to get rid of that fat!
How do you get rid of fat? By changing your diet.
- Jack LaLanne

He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit,
my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said,
'You mean you don't have one on?'
- Joe Viterelli

Watching Italian opera, all those male sopranos screeching,
stupid fat couples rolling their eyes about.
That's not love, it's just rubbish.
- Peter Shaffer

We feel it's unacceptable to be fat,
when it has nothing to do with who the person actually is.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

Tall, sandy blonde, with sort of blue eyes,
skinny in places, fat in others.
An average gal.
- Uma Thurman

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson.
Without them, I'm fat and 60.
- Jack Nicholson

I put on the fat suit and went outside and walked around.
I was really nervous about being found out,
but nobody would even make eye contact with me.
It really upset me.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

Well, for Blow I had to age from 20 to 60,
starting out in shape and then later putting on fat pads.
- Ray Liotta

No, that's not it.
The first time we met was at Fat Tuesday's.
Benny was playing, this was, I think in 1989?
- Benny Green

After we have calmly stood by and allowed monopolies to grow fat,
we should not be asked to make them bloated.
- John Griffin Carlisle

Every day of my life, I feel fat.
It's not correct thinking in the natural,
normal human being's way of life.
- Angie Everhart

I had to gain weight until I looked like a seal so
I could compete with the real whores who played the other roles.
I was fat as a barrel.
- Victoria Abril

A fat stomach sticks out too far.
It prevents you from looking down and seeing what is going on around you.
- Norman Reilly Raine

A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts.
- St.
Jerome

I'm scared to death of being poor.
It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside.
I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside.
It's my pet paranoia.
- Cher

If you eat something and get fat, you should be responsible for it.
I think that is the attitude of the great majority of Americans,
that you should be responsible for what you eat.
- Vic Snyder

I don't believe in low-fat cooking.
- Nigella Lawson

If you want to look young and thin hang around old fat people.
- Jim Eason

I'd kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe.
- Elizabeth Hurley

It is impossible for our working people to maintain
their full strength if they do not succeed in obtaining
a sufficient supply of fat,
allotted to them on a proper basis.
- Paul von Hindenburg

The fat lady hasn't sung yet.
We'll wait until we get a look at what is in the motion passed on third reading.
- Bobby Orr

Almost everything I do is related to being fat.
- Camryn Manheim

A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later,
when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and
smoking a cigar and saying long-time-no-see.
- Phyllis Battelle

My organs are too powerful...
I manufacture blood and fat too rapidly.
- Robert Baldwin

Then I did Mystic Pizza, just to do something I wasn't fat in.
- Vincent D'Onofrio

I've always been known as the fat kid from Stand By Me.
- Jerry O'Connell

I've always thought of fat as just a descriptive word.
- Camryn Manheim

Muscle and water is critical in burning fat.
- Lee Haney

I still consider myself a little, fat kid from Hawaii.
- Robert Kiyosaki

Congealed fat is pretty much the same,
irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.
- Clement Freud

I consider anybody who weighs over 200 pounds fat,
and time was when I could not refrain from telling such people so.
- Gloria Swanson

Some women have said, 'Gee, here I am getting involved with this fat guy,
what will people think of me?' But they were converted and sometimes surprised.
- Daniel Pinkwater

I have a tendency to evolve into William Shatner,
with my big fat face.
- Jason Bateman

I walked out of the Chinese restaurant with a fat check,
a record deal, and a box of shrimp egg foo yung!
- Solomon Burke

In my own mind, I am still a fat brunette from Toledo,
and I always will be.
- Gloria Steinem

I'm more hungry now than I was 11 years ago.
Which is great because I see a lot of artists that
have been out for a long period of time.
They get kind of fat.
- Lenny Kravitz

I was rather a fat little boy.
- Cyril Cusack

Because muscle is heavier than fat, dancers weigh more than you might think,
but they are usually very lean.
- Deborah Bull

There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.
- Kirstie Alley

One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've
changed your life by saying,
'Farewell to Fat'.
- Richard Simmons

I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television
is that they don't employ old people or fat people.
- Ruby Wax

You're not ethnic enough.
You're not fat enough.
You're not thin enough.
You're not blond enough.
You're not dark enough.
You're not young enough.
You're not old enough.
- Nia Vardalos

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside...
there's a thin man inside every fat man.
- George Orwell

I don't want to play the fat guy or the friend for the rest of my life.
- Sean Astin

There are no golden geese.
There are only fat geese eating the food that could
nourish more athletic opportunities for women.
- Donna A. Lopiano

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.
- Hermann Goering

I was really tired of words like 'plus size,'
'round' and 'large.' I thought,
'Come on, we're fat.'
- Kirstie Alley

I am the one who got myself fat, who did all the eating.
So I had to take full responsibility for it.
- Kirstie Alley

Everything that goes into my mouth seems to make me fat,
everything that comes out of my mouth embarrasses me.
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Imprisoned in every fat man a thin man is wildly signaling to be let out.
- Cyril Connolly

These are the people who do studies that your carry-out
Chinese meals are saturated in fat.
I'd just like to meet them!
I mean, what do they do for pleasure?
- Robert M. Parker, Jr.

When he was a little kid, he was a fat,
spoiled kid.
I can tell the type.
- Stan Freberg

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
- Dave Barry

An artist should remain true.
Otherwise his talent, like his stomach,
grows fat and stuffy.
- Norman Reilly Raine


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