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Let these funny Fat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
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A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.
Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung
Fate makes us family. choice makes us friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Men are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
When an inner situation is not made conscious,
it appears outside as fate.
- Carl Jung
Remember, upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all.
- Alexander the Great
Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny.
- Kamran Hamid
Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
- Jacques Delille
Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius
It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau
Concern for man and his fate must always form
the chief interest of all technical endeavors.
Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
- Albert Einstein
Fate is nothing but the deeds committed
in a prior state of existence.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin
Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us
that we are nothing but acorns
and that our greatest happiness will be
to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns;
but that is of interest only to pigs.
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better:
that we can become oak trees.
- E. F. Schumacher
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Travel is fatal to bigotry, prejudice, and narrow-mindedness.
- Mark Twain
Success is not final, failure is not fatal.
It is the courage to continue that counts.
- Winston Churchill
There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes
the greater part of his life getting his living.
- Henry David Thoreau
A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain
The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.