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Let these funny Desperate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a characteristic of wisdom
not to do desperate things.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Holding-on does not have to be a desperate
teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln
Many men go fishing all of their lives
without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau
Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man.
They die up to a point.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth is the property of no individual
but is the treasure of all men.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The law will never make a man free;
it is men who have got to make the law free.
- Henry David Thoreau
We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy
Good men must not obey the laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
Do not pray for easy lives.
Pray to be stronger men.
- John F. Kennedy
Love men and women not for their strength
but their softness,
not for their fullness but their hunger,
not for their plenty but their need.
- Anais Nin
(paraphrase)
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
Though force can protect in emergency,
only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation
can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.