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Let these funny Enterprises Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
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We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill
If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.