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Let these funny Debases Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We can't control the impressions others form about us,
and the effort to do so only debases our character.
- Epictetus
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins
Science investigates religion interprets.
Science gives man knowledge which is power
Religion gives man wisdom which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
I cannot trust a man to control others
who cannot control himself.
- Robert E. Lee
Control thy passions lest they take vengeance upon thee.
- Epictetus
The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter
If we are to go forward, we must go back
and rediscover those precious values -
that all reality hinges on moral foundations
and that all reality has spiritual control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren
Whether we allow external events to
shape our lives at a core level
is very much within our own control.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers
of the society but the people themselves;
and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise
their control with a wholesome discretion,
the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.
- Thomas Jefferson
In all circumstances I acknowledge this,
IN ALL THINGS AND ALL WAYS, I HAVE CHOICE.
My choice resides in my perspective.
While I certainly do not control climate and markets
and roadways and others, I do control myself
and my response to all those circumstances. I do indeed.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
For those men who, sooner or later, are lucky enough
to break away from the pack, the most intoxicating moment
comes when they cease being bodies in other men's command
and find that they control their own time,
when they learn their own voice and authority.
- Theodore H. White
To enjoy good health,
to bring true happiness to one's family,
to bring peace to all, one must first
discipline and control one's own mind.
If a man can control his mind
he can find the way to Enlightenment,
and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- The Buddha
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make,
both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control
the process of choosing, you can take control
of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom
that comes from being in charge of yourself.
- Robert Foster Bennett
Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill
AN INSPIRED LIFE: I HAVE A CHOICE
My key to living an inspired life involves
Embracing my history,
Understanding the function of expectations
and gently learning to have none;
Recognizing the power of attentive and conscious choices.
In all circumstances I acknowledge this,
IN ALL THINGS AND ALL WAYS, I HAVE CHOICE.
My choice resides in my perspective.
While I certainly do not control climate
and markets and roadways and others,
I do control myself and my response
to all those circumstances. I do indeed.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.