Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Chilling Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is not fitting, when one is in God's service,
to have a gloomy face or a chilling look.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Thank you for visiting: Funny Chilling Quotes - Funny Quotes about Chilling.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.