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Let these funny Cap Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
America has tossed its cap over the wall of space.
- John F. Kennedy
Not all Heroes wear capes.
- On an Apple Inc. "Genius Bar" T-shirt
There is no passion to be found playing small -
in settling for a life that is less
than the one you are capable of living.
- Nelson Mandela
If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
- Thomas Edison
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Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To be what we are,
and to become what we are capable of becoming,
is the only end in life.
- Baruch Spinoza
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be,
and you'll help them to become
what they are capable of becoming.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We are not what we are,
nor do we treat or esteem each other for such,
but for what we are capable of being.
- Henry David Thoreau
The difference between what we do
and what we are capable of doing
would suffice to solve most of the world's problem.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Success comes from knowing that
you did your best to become the best
that you are capable of becoming.
- John Wooden
If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is nothing with which every man is so afraid
as getting to know how enormously much
he is capable of doing and becoming.
- Soren Kierkegaard
A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing,
while others judge us by what we have already done.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
We all have a social mask, right?
We put it on, we go out, put our
best foot forward, our best image.
But behind that social mask is a personal truth,
what we really, really believe
about who we are and what we're capable of.
- Phil McGraw
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.