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Funny Did Quotes
Funny Quotes about Did

Let these funny Did Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes,
I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

Brought up to respect the conventions,
love had to end in marriage.
I'm afraid it did.
- Bette Davis

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)


 

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
- Naguib Mahfouz

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Mitch Hedberg

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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Civilization had too many rules for me,
so I did my best to rewrite them.
- Bill Cosby

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

We did not change as we grew older;
we just became more clearly ourselves.
- Lynn Hall

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
- Thomas Edison

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did
not reflect positively on my father's life.
- Sidney Poitier

A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu

I did not become a vegetarian for my health,
I did it for the health of the chickens.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

If you aren't playing well, the game isn't as much fun.
When that happens I tell myself just to go out and
play as I did when I was a kid.
- Thomas J. Watson

I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office
and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight
more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
- Nicolas Cage

A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
his troops will feel they did it themselves.
- Lao Tzu

Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day,
if I did not laugh I should die.
- Abraham Lincoln

I never did quite fit the glamour mode.
It is life with my husband and family that is my high now.
- Patty Duke

When did it become a problem to be a small businessman
and become successful? The small businessman -
like my father,
or like me?
- Glenn Beck

My mother taught me about the power of inspiration and courage,
and she did it with a strength and a passion that I wish could be bottled.
- Carly Fiorina

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get
tired of doing the hard work you already did.
- Newt Gingrich

I learned more stuff in church than I did in the world.
- Al Green

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do, and I will.
- Anonymous

Looking back, I have this to regret,
that too often when I loved,
I did not say so.
- David Grayson

As for accomplishments,
I just did what I had to do as things came along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I think I'm going to have to live vicariously through
my daughter's rebellion because I certainly never did go through adolescence.
- Brooke Shields

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

What we did not imagine was a Web of people,
but a Web of documents.
- Dale Dougherty

And now, this is the sweetest and most glorious day
that ever my eyes did see.
- Donald Cargill

My family knew, but most of the sporting world did
not realize that my right hand been some 75% paralyzed.
- Bill Toomey

Power concedes nothing without a demand.
It never did and it never will.
- Frederick Douglass

Can you imagine young people nowadays making a study
of trigonometry for the fun of it? Well I did.
- Clyde Tombaugh

The thing I enjoyed most were visits from children.
They did not want public office.
- Herbert Hoover

I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man.
At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did,
which was work in an office.
- Harrison Ford

The crops were planted, tended, and harvested -
now the ground lies fallow, awaiting the new planting.
Did the year fail? I think not.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

I'm still very professional about my fitness.
I stay in trim as I always did.
- Peter Shilton

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
- Sydney Harris

The one thing that kept our family together was the music.
The only thing that our family would share emotionally
was to have our dad cry over something the kids did with music.
- Dennis Wilson

We did not raise armies for glory or for conquest.
- Thomas Jefferson

I don't spend much money on clothes;
I never did.
- Lauren Hutton

Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake;
... shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good;
... shame says I am no good.
- John Bradshaw

God did not intend the human family to be wafted to
heaven on flowery beds of ease.
- Frank Knox

Success comes from knowing that
you did your best to become the best
that you are capable of becoming.
- John Wooden

I have been through various fitness regimes.
I used to run about five miles a day and I did aerobics for a while.
- Sting

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin,
would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo:
"Then why did you tell me?"
- Annie Dillard

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A man who views the world the same at fifty
as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.
- Muhammad Ali

The telephone is a 100-year-old technology.
It's time for a change.
Charging for phone calls is something you did last century.
- Niklas Zennstrom

Back in the mid-1970s, we adopted some fairly ambitious
goals to improve efficiency of our cars.
What did we get? We got a tremendous boost in efficiency.
- Jay Inslee

Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Future generations are not going to ask us
what political party were you in.
They are going to ask what did you do about it,
when you knew the glaciers were melting.
- Martin Sheen

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never did very well in math - I could never seem
to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
- Calvin Trillin

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.
- Calvin Coolidge

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down -
at least he did until he dropped dead.
- Cesar Romero

I have been dairy free for several years,
and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies,
which it did, and help me lose weight,
which it did.
- Fran Drescher

When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.