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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Wear Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wear

Let these funny Wear Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard

Be an Original, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat, dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Will Wear Purple.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Wear an Inner Smile.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Not all Heroes wear capes.
- On an Apple Inc. "Genius Bar" T-shirt

Smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole
for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast
and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat -
dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare.
I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside
but it is on the inside.
- Bono

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We should meet abuse by forbearance.
Human nature is so constituted that
if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse,
the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

This country, with its institutions,
belongs to the people who inhabit it.
Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government,
they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it,
or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out;
it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
- Robert W. Service

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau

Celebration has many different outfits
but she always wears the same beautiful dancing shoes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

I won't miss you.
I will miss who I thought you were.
- Anonymous

The word "happiness" would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
- Carl Jung

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I thought then, and I think now, that the invasion of Iraq
was unnecessary and unjust.
And I think the premises on which it was launched were false.
- Jimmy Carter

If we knew what it was we were doing,
it would not be called research, would it?
- Albert Einstein

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.
- Indian Proverb

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.