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Let these funny Awful Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
It is awfully hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
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Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow
Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
- John Milton
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
Rainbows and butterflies are themselves beautiful and highly symbolic,
but they are also representative of
all the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.