Facebook share Tweet This Email this
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong 
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
Hate generalizes; love is particular.
- Erica Jong
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong
The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Solitude is considered un-American.
- Erica Jong
Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong
Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
- Erica Jong
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Love gives without taking
- Erica Jong
My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong
The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong
The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong
Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
Love is serene and calm
- Erica Jong
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong
If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep
because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Dr. Seuss
A man who as a physical being
is always turned toward the outside,
thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and
discovers that the source is within him.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Though force can protect in emergency,
only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation
can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
And finally I twist my heart round again,
so that the bad is on the outside
and the good is on the inside,
and keep on trying to find a way of becoming
what I would so like to be, and could be,
if there weren't any other people living in the world.
- Anne Frank
Count your blessings. Once you realize
how valuable you are and how much you have going for you,
the smiles will return, the sun will break out,
the music will play, and you will finally
be able to move forward the life that God intended
for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
- Og Mandino
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Thank you for visiting: We are finally driven to monogamy by Erica Jong.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.