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Funny Believing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Believing

Let these funny Believing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken


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I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke


 

Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)

Seeing is not always believing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere

Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire

Never be fooled into believing that
there is one speck out of order.
- Byron Katie

Resilience is about believing in yourself,
and trusting your own wisdom rather than
being swayed by the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never stop dreaming your inspired future.
Believing in your dreams is only the first step,
but unless you have a dream that you believe in,
you are leaving your future to random chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The believing we do something when we do nothing
is the first illusion of tobacco.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

You have to be an original individual;
you have to find your innermost core on your own,
with no guide, no guiding scriptures.
It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry
you are bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with intense inquiry
has found the sunrise.
Others only believe.
Those who believe are not religious,
they are simply avoiding the great adventure
of religion by believing.
- Osho

Is a belief a perception of the five senses,
or is it a perception of emotional feeling?
Is it better to say "I sense" and/or "I feel"?
Is it better to say " I know" than "I believe"?
Is belief based on experience or on a idea?
My thinking is that belief/believing is a very missed used word.
- Anonymous

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones;
to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

To accomplish great things,
we must not only act, but also dream;
not only plan, but also believe.
- Anatole France

I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon

Man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense
of what not to believe.
- Euripides

We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James

Don't believe me,
don't believe yourself,
and don't believe anyone else.
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

I'm not religious at all,
but I believe in God very strongly.
- Bono

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Believe in yourself. Dream big dreams.
Set important goals. Take action on those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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