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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Taught Quotes
Funny Quotes about Taught

Let these funny Taught Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood,
but it didn't because parenting can only be learned
by people who have no children.
- Bill Cosby

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett


 

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

My mom taught us the Serenity Prayer at a young age.
- Toby Keith


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They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself:
Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
- Antonio Villaraigosa

My mother taught me that we all have the power to achieve our dreams.
What I lacked was the courage.
- Clay Aiken

My experiences have taught me a lot and I'm happy with my learnings,
if not with what I went through to learn.
- Ally Sheedy

Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our
values are and how great the mission they represent.
- Jan Peter Balkenende

Dad taught me everything I know.
Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.
- Al Unser

Leadership cannot really be taught.
It can only be learned.
- Harold S. Geneen

My mother taught me to treat a lady respectfully.
- Chris Brown

My dad taught me true words you have to use in every relationship.
Yes, baby.
- Star Jones

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Cyberspace.
A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators,
in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts.
- William Gibson

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce

I was taught that the way of progress
is neither swift nor easy.
- Marie Curie

My father taught me how to substitute realities.
- Mira Sorvino

One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin

One of the things I was taught in law school is that
I'd never be able to think the same again -
that being a lawyer is something that's part of who
I am as an individual now.
- Anita Hill

The main thing experience has taught me is that one
has to sort of hone their relationship to time,
you know.
- John Frusciante

My mother taught me about the power of inspiration and courage,
and she did it with a strength and a passion that I wish could be bottled.
- Carly Fiorina

Commitment cannot be taught;
it can only be caught.
I refer to the crusading spirit.
Without the crusading spirit,
you may have the starting power
but not the staying power.
- Jimmy Yen

I get whatever placidity I have from my father.
But my mother taught me how to take it on the chin.
- Norma Shearer

But, alas!
what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have
a higher Design than to get her a Husband?
- Mary Astell

My father taught me that the only way you can make
good at anything is to practice,
and then practice some more.
- Pete Rose

The doctor has been taught to be interested not in health but in disease.
What the public is taught is that health is the cure for disease.
- Ashley Montagu

It was my father who taught me to value myself.
He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that
I was the most precious thing in his life.
- Dawn French

Experience has taught me, when I am shaving of a morning,
to keep watch over my thoughts, because,
if a line of poetry strays into my memory,
my skin bristles so that the razor ceases to act.
- A. E. Housman

Let children walk with Nature,
let them see the beautiful blendings
and communions of death and life,
their joyous inseparable unity,
as taught in woods and meadows,
plains and mountains and streams
of our blessed star,
and they will learn that death
is stingless indeed,
and as beautiful as life.
- John Muir

My experience as a school nurse taught me that we need
to make a concerted effort,
all of us, to increase physical fitness activity among
our children and to encourage all Americans to adopt
a healthier diet that includes fruits and vegetables,
but there is more.
- Lois Capps

You have made people listen.
You have made people care, and you have taught us
that whether we are poor or prosperous,
we have only one world to share.
You have taught young people that
they do have the power to change the world.
- Kofi Annan, UN Secretary General, to Bono. (November 1999)

Jesus preached more and taught more
about helping the poor and the sick and the hungry
than he did about heaven and hell.
Shouldn't that tell us something?
- John Grisham

I was raised by a single mother who made a way for me.
She used to scrub floors as a domestic worker,
put a cleaning rag in her pocketbook and ride the subways
in Brooklyn so I would have food on the table.
But she taught me as I walked her to the subway that
life is about not where you start,
but where you're going.
That's family values.
- Al Sharpton

Krishna children were taught that in the spiritual
world there were no parents,
only souls and hence this justified their being kept out of view from others,
cloistered in separate buildings and sheltered from the evil material world.
- Mary Garden

Time, place, and action may with pains be wrought,
but genius must be born; and never can be taught.
- John Dryden

I'm left handed, but my dad taught me to play guitar right-handed.
- Dustin Diamond

This has taught me that being pleasant is always so much more productive,
for I know well the rewards for being good-natured.
- Marie Windsor

And I taught acting for years, and without knowing
it that was the real thing that started bending me toward directing.
- Sydney Pollack

You've got to stand up and do your own battles.
My daddy taught me that a long time ago,
that you fight your own battles.
The only way to shut everybody up is to win.
- Terry Bradshaw

It is with this as with religion: one usually believes what he has been taught.
- Knute Nelson

You've got to be taught to hate and fear.
- Oscar Hammerstein II

It taught me something.
It taught you your craft.
- Billy Eckstine

In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

He took me under his wing when I first came to the
Rams and taught me everything -
his technique in the pass rush,
how to play off blockers, and how to make the big play.
- Jack Youngblood

I was taught from a young age that many people would
treat me as a second-class citizen because I was African-American
and because I was female.
- Queen Latifah

It was books that taught me that the things that tormented
me most were the very things that connected me with
all the people who were alive,
or who had ever been alive.
- James A. Baldwin

No, I think it taught me to be independent and never
expect a handout and never wait for anybody to hand
you anything in any aspect of my life.
- Jesse James

Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be
taught soon enough how children don't come into the world.
- Karl Kraus

If faith in ourselves had been more extensively taught and practiced,
I am sure a very large portion of the evils and miseries
that we have would have vanished.
- Swami Vivekananda

Euclid taught me that without assumptions there is no proof.
Therefore, in any argument, examine the assumptions.
- E. T. Bell

Oxford also taught me something else -
it taught me scepticism.
- Frank Scott

We have been taught to regard a representative of the
people as a sentinel on the watch-tower of liberty.
- Daniel Webster

I taught in a small teacher's college for three or four years,
at which point all the administrators got a pay raise
and the teaching faculty didn't.
- David Eddings

The innocence that feels no risk and is taught no caution,
is more vulnerable than guilt, and oftener assailed.
- Nathaniel Parker Willis

Thousands of present day students, like many of our Founding Fathers,
are being taught at home.
- Ernest Istook

I thank fate for having made me born poor.
Poverty taught me the true value of the gifts useful to life.
- Anatole France

Taught from infancy that beauty is woman's sceptre,
the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage,
only seeks to adorn its prison.
- Mary Wollstonecraft

It was Neuberger who first taught me how to do research,
both technically and as a way of life,
and I owe much to him.
- Frederick Sanger

Karl Malden was quite a mentor.
He taught me things he had learned from being in front of a camera so long.
- Gary Cole

Thus the slogan should be reversed: Catholics taught
the world what music is supposed to sound like,
and, more importantly, what it is supposed to mean.
- Richard Morris

Crows are incredibly smart.
They can be taught five things on the drop.
- Robbie Coltrane

Several professional athletes have wrongly taught many
young Americans by example that the only way to succeed
in sports is to take steroids.
- Jim Sensenbrenner

I taught myself how to play when I was about 13.
I'm a lefty.
- Jules Shear

I've taught statistics, math courses and what I've
found is that often if you teach them algebraically the formulas,
you'll have one group of kids doing well.
- Robert Sternberg

If history and science have taught us anything,
it is that passion and desire are not the same as truth.
- E. O. Wilson

I've had 60 years of ups and downs, and all of the downs that I've had,
I'm happy that I've had them because it's taught me
to appreciate all the ups.
- Patti LaBelle

I've taught Sunday school, I've sung in the choir,
I directed a choir.
- Elizabeth Moon


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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