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Let these funny Shorter Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The faster you go, the shorter you are.
- Albert Einstein
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
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You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch
Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.
- Socrates
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain
If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.
There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver
Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
- Walter Hagen
Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.
- Mother Teresa
When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau
Communists have always played an active role
in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom,
because the short-term objects of Communism
would always correspond with
the long-term objects of freedom movements.
- Nelson Mandela
If you don't enjoy your career,
today is the day to begin a long-term plan
for creating a career that interests and excites you.
And, in the short term, even if you hate your job,
look for small joys at work each day,
perhaps in your interactions with customers and co-workers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many people know so little about what
is beyond their short range of experience.
They look within themselves - and find nothing!
Therefore they conclude that there
is nothing outside themselves either.
- Helen Keller
It is very important to generate a good attitude,
a good heart, as much as possible.
From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term
for both yourself and others will come.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
To be idle is a short road to death
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle,
wise people are diligent.
- The Buddha
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous
The shortest and surest way to
live with honor in the world,
is to be in reality
what we would appear to be.
- Socrates
Great geniuses have the shortest biographies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie
One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life
comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein
The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
- Helen Keller
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
- Bertrand Russell
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.