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Let these funny Sensual Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Every experiment, by multitudes or by individuals,
that has a sensual and selfish aim, will fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.