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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Seldom Quotes
Funny Quotes about Seldom

Let these funny Seldom Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld


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I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton


 

Friendship often leads to love,
but lust seldom leads to friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today's problems can seldom be solved using yesterday's answers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be alert. The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things are seldom what they seem.
- William S. Gilbert (Gilbert and Sullivan: HMS Pinafore)

Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill

The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

There are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.
- Jewel

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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