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Let these funny Relations Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
Friends are God's apology for relations.
- Hugh Kingsmille
There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
- Jacques Delille
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There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha
Like everyone else I feel the need of relations and friendship,
of affection, of friendly intercourse,
and I am not made of stone or iron,
so I cannot miss these things without feeling,
as does any other intelligent man, a void and deep need.
I tell you this to let you know how much good your visit has done me.
- Vincent Van Gogh
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed,
the oldest problem in the relations between human beings,
and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem,
of what to say and how to say it.
- Edward R. Murrow
By having a reverence for life,
we enter into a spiritual relation with the world.
By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.
- Albert Schweitzer
All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha
There are certain pursuits which,
if not wholly poetic and true,
do at least suggest a nobler and finer
relation to nature than we know.
The keeping of bees, for instance.
- Henry David Thoreau
Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.