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Funny Fate Quotes
Funny Quotes about Fate

Let these funny Fate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.
Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha


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Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius

Men are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fate makes us family. choice makes us friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


 

Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny.
- Kamran Hamid

Fate is nothing but the deeds committed
in a prior state of existence.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
- Jacques Delille

It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau

Concern for man and his fate must always form
the chief interest of all technical endeavors.
Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
- Albert Einstein

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Remember, upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all.
- Alexander the Great

When an inner situation is not made conscious,
it appears outside as fate.
- Carl Jung

We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us
that we are nothing but acorns
and that our greatest happiness will be
to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns;
but that is of interest only to pigs.
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better:
that we can become oak trees.
- E. F. Schumacher

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success is not final, failure is not fatal.
It is the courage to continue that counts.
- Winston Churchill

Travel is fatal to bigotry, prejudice, and narrow-mindedness.
- Mark Twain

There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes
the greater part of his life getting his living.
- Henry David Thoreau

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain

The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau

The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung

The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis

It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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