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Let these funny Reckoned Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson
It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer
A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts
I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.