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Let these funny Quadruped Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped,
probably arboreal in its habits.
- Charles Darwin
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
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Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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