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Let these funny Pitted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous
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Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen
Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never be stopped by fear or self-pity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino
If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking
If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures
from the shelter of compassion and pity,
you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.