Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Pity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pity

Let these funny Pity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never be stopped by fear or self-pity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen


 

Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures
from the shelter of compassion and pity,
you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus

Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
- Carl Jung

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The less I take the difficulties of my life as personal affront,
and the more I use them as an opportunity to learn and grow...
the easier I sleep at night.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Difficulties are things that show a person what he is.
- Epictetus

Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.
- Winston Churchill

Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams

Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics.
I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Albert Einstein

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch


Thank you for visiting: Funny Pity Quotes - Funny Quotes about Pity.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.