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Funny Pity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pity

Let these funny Pity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller


 

Never be stopped by fear or self-pity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen


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Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures
from the shelter of compassion and pity,
you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
- St. Francis of Assisi

You're an idealist, and I pity you as I would the village idiot.
- Stanley Kubrick

Moon!
Moon!
I am prone before you.
Pity me, and drench me in loneliness.
- Amy Lowell

When I go out there, I have no pity on my brother.
I'm out there to win.
- Joe Frazier

Ice-cream is exquisite - what a pity it isn't illegal.
- Voltaire

I tell people to monitor their self-pity.
Self-pity is very unattractive.
- Patty Duke

It is a great pity but tis certain from every day's observation of man,
that he may be set on fire like a candle,
at either end provided there is a sufficient wick standing out.
- Laurence Sterne

Without Khomeini, we would not be where we are.
What a pity that, when pregnant with him,
his mother did not choose to have an abortion.
- Oriana Fallaci

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong,
have governed my life: the longing for love,
the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
- Bertrand Russell

When Man evolved Pity, he did a queer thing -
deprived himself of the power of living life as it
is without wishing it to become something different.
- John Galsworthy

When the severity of the law is to be softened,
let pity, not bribes, be the motive.
- Miguel de Cervantes

Sensual excess drives out pity in man.
- Marquis de Sade

I think it's a pity that in many people's minds constitutional
reform and PR have come to mean much the same thing.
- Ferdinand Mount

The only justice is to follow the sincere intuition of the soul,
angry or gentle.
Anger is just, and pity is just, but judgement is never just.
- David Herbert Lawrence

It would be a pity if, frustrated by the price of travel,
we elected to become a society that never made contact,
that never gave SETI a fair chance.
- Barney Oliver

The all-seeing eye of God beheld our deplorable state;
infinite pity touched the heart of the Father of mercies;
and infinite wisdom laid the plan of our recovery.
- David Brainerd

It is a pity that instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers.
- Chauncey Depew

There is little for the great part of the history of
the world except the bitter tears of pity and the hot tears of wrath.
- Woodrow Wilson

There's a shortage of perfects breasts in this world.
It would be a pity to damage yours.
- Cary Elwes

I used to think it a pity that her mother rather than
she had not thought of birth control.
- Muriel Spark

Oh may He look on us with love and pity and then we
shall be able to do anything He wishes us to do,
no matter how difficult to accomplish or painful to our feeling.
- Catherine McAuley

It's a pity one can't imagine what one can't compare to anything.
Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
- Vladimir Nabokov

Don't pity me now, don't pity me never;
I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever.
- James Agate

It is only a step from boredom to disillusionment,
which leads naturally to self-pity, which in turn ends in chaos.
- Manly Hall

The machine has had a pernicious effect upon virtue,
pity, and love, and young men used to machines which induce inertia,
and fear, are near impotent.
- Edward Dahlberg

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived.
It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge
of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.
- F. H. Bradley

You must not pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished.
To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly.
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

What pity is it That we can die, but once to serve our country.
- Joseph Addison

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
- Don Marquis

It will be a pity if women in the more conventional
mould are to be phased out,
for there will never be anyone to go home to.
- Anita Brookner

More helpful than all wisdom is one draught of simple
human pity that will not forsake us.
- George Eliot

Only those who spread treachery, fire,
and death out of hatred for the prosperity of others are undeserving of pity.
- Jose Marti

My subject is War, and the pity of War.
The Poetry is in the pity.
- Wilfred Owen

Language is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to,
while all the time we long to move the stars to pity.
- Gustave Flaubert

We need to suffer, that we may learn to pity.
- Letitia Landon

Let no one underestimate the need of pity.
We live in a stony universe whose hard,
brilliant forces rage fiercely.
- Theodore Dreiser

I understand how hard it is to talk to people about MS.
You don't want pity or random advice.
- Teri Garr

Oh, how sweet it is to pity the fate of an enemy who
can no longer threaten us!
- Pierre Corneille

If a man is tongue-tied, don't laugh at him,
but, rather, feel pity for him, as you would for a man with broken legs.
- Abraham Cahan

Rascals are always sociable, more's the pity!
and the chief sign that a man has any nobility in his
character is the little pleasure he takes in others' company.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Pity is treason.
- Maximilien Robespierre

Who among us has the strength to oppose petty egoism,
those petty good feelings, pity and remorse?
- Ivan Turgenev

She knows as well as anyone that pity,
having played, soon tires.
- Edwin A. Robinson

It's a mistake to confuse pity with love.
- Stanley Kubrick

Pity speaks to grief More sweetly than a band of instruments.
- Barry Cornwall

A mixture of admiration and pity is one of the surest recipes for affection.
- Arthur Helps

Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
- Vicki Baum

What a pity it is that we have no amusements in England but vice and religion!
- Sydney Smith

Pity and friendship are two passions incompatible with each other.
- Oliver Goldsmith

Self-pity comes so naturally to all of us.
The most solid happiness can be shaken by the compassion of a fool.
- Andre Maurois

All those who offer an opinion on any doubtful point
should first clear their minds of every sentiment of dislike,
friendship, anger or pity.
- Sallust

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems.
Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.
- Olin Miller

Beloved, till life can charm no more;
And mourned,
till Pity's self be dead.
- William Collins

I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man
or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.
- Benjamin Harrison

The sea has neither meaning nor pity.
- Anton Chekhov

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a
cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!
- Jerry Lewis

To love with the spirit is to pity, and he who pities most loves most.
- Miguel de Unamuno

To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the
same time something to respect and something to pity in his face.
- Stendhal

Where mercy, love, and pity dwell, there God is dwelling too.
- William Blake

I'm really convinced that our descendants a century
or two from now will look back at us with the same
pity that we have toward the people in the field of
science two centuries ago.
- John Templeton

Reform is born of need, not pity.
- Rebecca H. Davis

It is easy to condemn, it is better to pity.
- Lyman Abbott

If you can once engage people's pride,
love, pity, ambition on your side, you need not fear
what their reason can do against you.
- Lord Chesterfield


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