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Funny Mothers Quotes
Funny Quotes about Mothers

Let these funny Mothers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
- Cathy Guisewite

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

If there were no schools to take the children away
from home part of the time,
the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
- Edward W. Howe

No fathers or mothers think their own children ugly.
- Miguel de Cervantes


 

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

Mothers don't let your daughters grow up to be models unless you're present.
- Janice Dickinson

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because
they are more certain they are their own.
- Aristotle


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How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are,
we must know our mothers names.
- Alice Walker

Only mothers can think of the future -
because they give birth to it in their children.
- Maxim Gorky

Men are what their mothers made them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Babies don't need fathers, but mothers do.
Someone who is taking care of a baby needs to be taken care of.
- Amy Heckerling

What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like
doing for their babies is usually best after all.
- Benjamin Spock

I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet,
there would be no more wars.
- E. M. Forster

I think while all mothers deal with feelings of guilt,
working mothers are plagued by guilt on steroids!
- Arianna Huffington

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers.
Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
- Elayne Boosler

Mothers are the necessity of invention.
- Bill Watterson

What do girls do who haven't any mothers to help them through their troubles?
- Louisa May Alcott

The being of our mothers is forever branded onto our own being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Girls are the future mothers of our society,
and it is important that we focus on their well-being.
- Miriam Makeba

Mothers - especially single mothers -
are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children,
but men must also take responsibility for their children
and recognize the impact they have on their families' well-being.
- Evan Bayh

Fathers and mothers have lost the idea that the highest
aspiration they might have for their children is for them to be wise...
specialized competence and success are all that they can imagine.
- Allan Bloom

We criticize mothers for closeness.
We criticize fathers for distance.
How many of us have expected less from our fathers
and appreciated what they gave us more? How many of
us always let them off the hook?
- Ellen Goodman

Mothers always find ways to fit in the work -
but then when you're working,
you feel that you should be spending time with your
children and then when you're with your children,
you're thinking about working.
- Alice Hoffman

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie,
unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.
- Mike Royko

We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother.
It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are still
but children with playthings.
- F. H. Bradley

I can't think why mothers love them.
All babies do is leak at both ends.
- Douglas Feaver

Mothers are not supposed to give guidance,
right' Sean's doing his own thing.
- Yoko Ono

Working mothers are just as likely to want to conform
to a standard of perfection and just as likely to suffer
from their failure to meet it as their stay-at-home counterparts.
- Melinda M. Marshall

No country in history ever sent mothers of toddlers
off to fight enemy soldiers until the United States
did this in the Iraq war.
- Phyllis Schlafly

Obviously Victoria and Mel B have become mothers and
there is a part of me that wants to be a mum.
- Geri Halliwell

They say geniuses mostly have great mothers.
They mostly have sad fates.
- David Herbert Lawrence

Their mothers had finally caught up to them and been proven right.
There were consequences after all but they were the
consequences to things you didn't even know you'd done.
- Margaret Atwood

The purpose of The Motherhood Manifesto is:
mothers really need to be given the ability to parent.
- Joan Blades

Morality becomes hypocrisy if it means accepting mothers'
suffering or dying in connection with unwanted pregnancies
and illegal abortions and unwanted children.
- Gro Harlem Brundtland

In Japan, mothers insist on achievement and accomplishment
as a sign of love and respect.
Thus to fail places children in a highly shamed situation.
- Michael Lewis

I nursed men back to sanity who were driven to despair.
I solicited clothes for the ragged children,
for the desperate mothers.
I laid out the dead, the martyrs of the strike.
- Mary Harris Jones

Today, Arizona's sons and daughters,
mothers and fathers are proudly serving their country.
- Jane D. Hull

Sexism is not the fault of women - kill your fathers,
not your mothers.
- Robin Morgan

We found that when people put this issue on the table,
it turns out that men acknowledge the issue,
and employers and employees can work out solutions
just as working mothers do.
- James Levine

Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth;
we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth.
- Mary Antin

Our mothers' generation fought so hard to change things
and we're the first generation to benefit.
And now you get girls in their twenties who say they're not feminists.
- Kristin Davis

We have tried you citizens; we are trying you now,
and you have a couple of dollars for the sorrowing mothers,
brothers and sisters by way of a charity gift.
- Rose Schneiderman

A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.
- Margaret Sanger

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
- Rudyard Kipling

A mother's got to be there to raise the children.
That's all there is to it.
I feel badly for those mothers who work hard,
and can't do it all the time.
- Eric Braeden

I value mothers and motherhood enormously.
For every inattentive or abusive mother in my fiction
I think you'll find a dozen or so who are neither.
- William Trevor

This is the reason why mothers are more devoted to
their children than fathers:
it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and
are more certain that they are their own.
- Aristotle

We should be the natural home for young mothers.
But we're not.
Because too often we sound like people who think the
only good mother is a married mother.
- Francis Maude

All women become like their mothers.
That is their tragedy.
No man does.
That's his.
- Oscar Wilde

The capitalist class shoots down mothers and children.
It stops at nothing, no matter how monstrous,
to prevent the organization of the workers.
- Ella R. Bloor

After the crash happened, I was so humiliated and embarrassed.
I thought of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers,
that they must hate me.
- Tracey Gold

At about 40, the roles started slowing down.
I started getting offers to play mothers and grandmothers.
- Kathleen Turner

One thing all stage mothers share is an overpowering
ambition for their daughters.
- Lawrence Welk

You can make children believe whatever you want,
and the children of today are the soldiers and mothers of tomorrow.
- Dudley Nichols

By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers
who do not have regular time off.
They are the great vacationless class.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men -
from mothers most of all,
who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Good mothers know that their relationship with each
of their children is like a movable feast,
constantly changing and evolving.
- Sue Woodman

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers,
If I belittle dogs and mothers.
- Ogden Nash

I don't think anybody cares about unwed mothers unless they're black or poor.
The question is not morality, the question is money.
That's what we're upset about.
- Toni Morrison

Simply having children does not make mothers.
- John A. Shedd

Mothers are all slightly insane.
- J. D. Salinger

I think that the old Mothers started that trend of rehearsing long hours.
We went as long as the later bands did except we didn't
get paid for it like they did.
- Jimmy Carl Black

We never got anything out of the recordings.
I'm still as broke as I was when I was with the Mothers.
- Jimmy Carl Black

Countries are either mothers or fathers,
and engender the emotional bristle secretly reserved for either sire.
- Edna O'Brien

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Our mothers and fathers want change.
They worked all of their lives, but today live in destitution.
- Viktor Yushchenko

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
- Milton Berle

Working mothers do an hour more per day than working
fathers do and working mothers do on average an hour
more per day with the kids than working fathers do.
- James Levine

Tired mothers find that spanking takes less time than
reasoning and penetrates sooner to the seat of the memory.
- Will Durant

I think a lot of the Mothers stuff that we recorded
was written while we were on the road.
- Jimmy Carl Black

Mothers are the people who love us for no good reason.
And those of us who are mothers know it's the most exquisite love of all.
- Maggie Gallagher


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