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Funny President Quotes
Funny Quotes about President

Let these funny President Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically,
by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
- Gore Vidal


 

I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft.
Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
- Will Rogers

Frankly, I don't mind not being President.
I just mind that someone else is.
- Edward Kennedy


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I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy

Campaign behavior for wives:
Always be on time.
Do as little talking as humanly possible.
Lean back in the parade car
so everybody can see the president.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A knowledgeable and courageous U.S.
president could help enormously in leading the world's
nations toward saving the climate.
- Donella Meadows

You may think the president is all-powerful,
but he is not.
He needs a lot of guidance from the Lord.
- Barbara Bush

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.
- William J. Clinton

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

I think there is one higher office than president and
I would call that patriot.
- Gary Hart

I am not the Catholic candidate for President.
I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President,
who happens also to be a Catholic.
- John F. Kennedy

I haven't eaten at a McDonald's since I became President.
- William J. Clinton

You must pursue this investigation of Watergate even
if it leads to the president.
I'm innocent.
You've got to believe I'm innocent.
If you don't, take my job.
- Richard M. Nixon

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The Marine Corps is the Navy's police force and as
long as I am President that is what it will remain.
They have a propaganda machine that is almost equal to Stalin's.
- Harry S. Truman

All the president is, is a glorified public relations
man who spends his time flattering,
kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what
they are supposed to do anyway.
- Harry S. Truman

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm.
There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President
but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power.
- Arthur C. Clarke

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;
I'm beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow

Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River,
the headline that afternoon would read:
"President Can't Swim."
- Lyndon B. Johnson

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

My father was not a failure.
After all, he was the father of a president of the United States.
- Harry S. Truman

Oh, that lovely title, ex-president.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Although...
the Chief Magistrate must almost of necessity be chosen
by a party and stand pledged to its principles and measures,
yet in his official action he should not be the President of a party only,
but of the whole people of the United States.
- James K. Polk

Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you don't like the President, it costs you 90 bucks
to fly to Washington to picket.
If you don't like the Governor, it costs you 60 bucks
to fly to Albany to picket.
If you don't like me, 90 cents.
- Edward Koch

The United States brags about its political system,
but the President says one thing during the election,
something else when he takes office,
something else at midterm and something else when he leaves.
- Deng Xiaoping

Take the veto.
Bush is the first president since James Garfield in
1881 not to veto a single bill.
Garfield only had six months in office;
Bush has had over four years.
- Jim Cooper

Once upon a time we did not focus on a president's private life.
- Tom Ford

I'm just a newsboy who met a President.
- David Powers

The president of General Motors was in a foul humor.
- Arthur Hailey

As a Member of the CBC, I will fight tooth and nail
to increase funding for programs,
such as Ryan White, that were flat funded in the President's budget.
- Corrine Brown

I must say I am not pleased to have to arrange the
Senate schedule around the availability of Senators
who are running for President.
- Arlen Specter

Despite the negativity coming from the President's opponents,
the United States remains fully committed to assisting
the Iraqis in restoring security and rebuilding their nation.
- Craig L. Thomas

On several occasions President Kennedy encouraged me to take a lover,
an obvious sign he also had some himself.
- Pierre Salinger

In my opinion, we've elected a Marxist [Barack Obama]
to be president of the United States.
- Paul Broun

Then I was president of the Bakelite Corporation from 1910 to 1930.
- Leo Baekeland

Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States.
You know why? You think you can get chicks by being
in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President.
- Ben Affleck

I would like to say that no man ever was given finer
cooperation than that given me by President Truman.
- Paul Hoffman

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind.
Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
- David Letterman

President Johnson and I have a lot in common.
We were both born in small towns and we're both fortunate
in the fact that we think we married above ourselves.
- Richard M. Nixon

President Bush is manufacturing a crisis by suggesting
that Social Security is in imminent danger.
It is not.
- Richard Neal

This is said to us, even as this counterfeit president
has legalized the Confederate Flag in Mississippi.
- Amiri Baraka

A President doesn't have a terribly long time to talk
to people who are not really on the agenda.
- Erich Leinsdorf

The president felt that it was important to send an
ordinary citizen to experience the excitement of space
travel as a representative for all Americans.
- Christa McAuliffe

I agree with the President that second-guessing is not a strategy,
but at the same time, I want to continue the dialogue
that ultimately will lead to bringing all of our troops home.
- Howard Coble

I don't think Bush was legitimately elected President.
- Roger Ebert

Look, when you're the president, there's all kinds of things said about us.
I mean, it's just the nature of the job.
- George W. Bush

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
- Gracie Allen

In recent years, more and more of my time has become
absorbed by administrative work for the research council
of ETH-Z of which I am presently the president.
- Richard Ernst

I think it is important for Europe to understand that
even though I am president and George Bush is not president,
Al Qaeda is still a threat.
- Barack Obama

Given the daunting challenges that we face,
it's important that president elect Obama is prepared
to really take power and begin to rule day one.
- Valerie Jarrett

I believe that President Clinton considered the legal
merits of the arguments for the pardon as he understood them,
and he rendered his judgment, wise or unwise,
on the merits.
- John Podesta

On the contrary, I tried on numerous occasions to convince
the American president not to go to war.
I did what was within my capabilities to avoid that happening.
- Silvio Berlusconi

Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton.
The job is just too big for him.
- Rich Little

There are big issues, like the reform of the Security Council.
These kinds of questions are something the President
of the General Assembly must keep his eye on.
- Harri Holkeri

The Chavez-Obama pictures will join a postmodern photo
array that includes Donald Rumsfeld gifting Saddam
Hussein with spurs from President Reagan.
- Christine Pelosi

The President is the people's lobbyist.
- Hubert H. Humphrey

The president of the United States actually has to
be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
- John Edwards

I'm covering the worst president in American history.
- Helen Thomas

Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb.
If we win, it'll be because of the president.
And if we lose, it'll be because of me.
- Karl Rove

Because of the structure of the contemporary American party system,
every president is polarizing.
- Larry J. Sabato

People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook.
Well, I'm not a crook.
I earned everything I've got.
- Richard M. Nixon


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