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Let these funny Masked Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Unlike grown-ups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
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Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert
Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard
A mask tells us more than a face.
- Oscar Wilde
Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies
We all have a social mask, right?
We put it on, we go out, put our
best foot forward, our best image.
But behind that social mask is a personal truth,
what we really, really believe
about who we are and what we're capable of.
- Phil McGraw
If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.
Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Unlike presidential administrations,
problems rarely have terminal dates.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
Today is a unique and special day.
It is unlike any other day you have ever experienced.
If you assume that today is like every other day,
you will never notice today's uniqueness.
If you practice keen awareness, you will get
to savor today's uniquely wonderful qualities.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.