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Let these funny Imaginary Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
The bulk of the world's knowledge is an imaginary construction.
- Helen Keller
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
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Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
You remember lesson about balance?
Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life.
Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make sacred pact. I promise teach
karate to you, you promise learn.
I say, you do, no questions.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Fighting not good. But if must fight... win.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
Problem: attitude.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Walk on road, hmmm?
Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe.
Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.
Here, karate, same thing.
Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no."
You karate do "guess so," squish just like grape. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.