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Funny Practical Quotes
Funny Quotes about Practical

Let these funny Practical Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

A religion that takes no account of practical affairs
and does not help to solve them, is no religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Science of Mind is intensely practical
because it teaches us how to use
the Mind Principle for definite purposes,
such as helping those who are sick, impoverished, or unhappy.
- Ernest Holmes

We seek to emphasize those practical things that we have in common.
- Australian Prime Minister John Howard


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Technical know-how of the experts must be transformed
into practical do-how of the people.
- Jimmy Yen

The assertion that "all men are created equal"
was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain
and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.
- Abraham Lincoln

The test of all beliefs is their practical effect in life.
If it be true that optimism compels the world forward,
and pessimism retards it, then it is dangerous to
propagate a pessimistic philosophy.
- Helen Keller


 

"Being practical" is the antithesis of having faith and love.
"Being practical" is an expression of fear.
When you live from love and faith, you will be compassionate,
confident, and loving -- and no longer feel the need to "be practical."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous

There are practical little things in housekeeping
which no man really understands.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.
- Chinese proverb

We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.
- William Faulkner

We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
- Will Durant (commonly attributed to Aristotle)

A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Practice does not make perfect,
perfect practice makes perfect.
- Vince Lombardi

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson

I practice keen awareness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things,
and then proceed to greater.
- Epictetus

Practice makes perfect.
- Anonymous

Teach and practice, practice and teach - that is all we have;
that is all we are good for; that is all we ever ought to do.
- Ernest Holmes

We cannot make good news out of bad practice.
- Edward R. Murrow

He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Today Is My Day To Practice Whimsey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the practice of tolerance,
one's enemy is the best teacher.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Consider adopting the ongoing practice of zero-based gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

In meditation practice, the best way to get somewhere
is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

If you have never experienced the practice
of daily journaling, give it a try. I highly recommend it.
When I say "journaling," I am not referring to a diary
in which to record the events of your life,
I am talking about a place to record your feelings -
a friend with whom to share your troubles, fears, hopes, and dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a unique and special day.
It is unlike any other day you have ever experienced.
If you assume that today is like every other day,
you will never notice today's uniqueness.
If you practice keen awareness, you will get
to savor today's uniquely wonderful qualities.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade your story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today is my day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade my story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I recognize this in my writing process.
A consistent writing structure opens the door to amazing insights.
I recognize the truth of this in my daily habits.
When I set my keys in the place
I, with practice, always set my keys...
I do not lose them.
In many instances an ordered external structure
can be an invitation for an extraordinarily unfettered,
creative and unbounded inner structure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A principle is the expression of perfection,
and as imperfect beings like us cannot practice perfection,
we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness is not a one time thing.
Forgiveness must be practiced again and again in different ways
because we may find many dimensions to the wrongs we have suffered.
Bitterness and resentment are like weeds that can continue to pop up
until we have plucked out the last plant by its roots
and extinguished the last seed.
We must carefully tend the garden of our mind and soul,
lest we be overrun by the weeds of bitterness and regret.
- Carly Foster

I like to talk about a thing I call a "practiced pause."
Just a few moments of pausing allows me
to consider a circumstance and take stock
of what the best direction might be.
Reactions tend to rise from habit and unconsidered action.
A Response is considered and thoughtful.
My actions are my own and I am, singularly,
responsible for what I see, say, feel and exert.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

By having a reverence for life,
we enter into a spiritual relation with the world.
By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.
- Albert Schweitzer

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All unhappiness comes from either
having less than yesterday,
or from having less than one's neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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