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Emo Phillips Quotes
Funny Quotes by Emo Phillips

Let these funny Emo Phillips Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

I'm a father.
It isn't just my life any more.
I don't want my kid finding bottles in the house or
seeing his father completely smashed.
- Billie Joe Armstrong


 

If you aren't playing well, the game isn't as much fun.
When that happens I tell myself just to go out and
play as I did when I was a kid.
- Thomas J. Watson

So many people try to grow up too fast,
and it's not fun!
You should stay a kid as long as possible!
- Vanessa Hudgens

We went to church every Sunday.
When I was a kid, the only time I sang was around my family.
- Darius Rucker


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Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

I'd lose my mind if I heard my kid call the nanny Mommy.
- Toni Braxton

I started playing ball when I was a kid.
My dad was a pro ball player and he passed on his knowledge to me.
- Kurt Russell

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way
so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed.
I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly.
He cut the legs off the bed.
- Lou Brock

We approach people the same way we approach our cars.
We take the poor kid to a doctor and ask,
What's wrong with him, how much will it cost,
and when can I pick him up?
- James Hillman

We make sacred pact. I promise teach
karate to you, you promise learn.
I say, you do, no questions.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup.
He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined.
Somebody is going to dust my records.
It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
- Jack Nicklaus

Being a father helps me be more responsible...
you see more things than you've ever seen.
- Kid Rock

You always get a special kick on opening day,
no matter how many you go through.
You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid.
You think something wonderful is going to happen.
- Joe DiMaggio

We're just into toys, whether it's motorcycles or race cars or computers.
I've got the Palm Pilot right here with me,
I've got the world's smallest phone.
Maybe it's just because I'm still a big little kid and I just love toys,
you know?
- Catherine Bell

You remember lesson about balance?
Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life.
Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

I am happy to make money.
I want to make more money, make more music,
eat Big Macs and drink Budweisers.
- Kid Rock

Problem: attitude.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fighting not good. But if must fight... win.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

He's not a child but he's childlike,
he's not a grown up,
he's not a kid, maybe he sounds like an elf on helium,
we'll play with it.
- Tom Kenny

I've been a boxing fan ever since I was a kid.
- Robert Goulet

I was never a Boy Scout, but oh, I wanted to be one
when I was a kid about ten or eleven years old.
But there wasn't anyplace where I could ever join the Boy Scouts.
- Carl Barks

I never considered a career in broadcasting,
not even as a kid.
- Josh Charles

I was just a kid, but I was a rotten kid.
- Gary Burghoff

I had piano lessons when I was a kid,
like most people.
And hated them, like most people.
And quit, like most people.
- Carter Burwell

Look, I think if you talk down to a kid or aim specifically at a kid,
most kids aren't gonna like it, really,
because most kids can feel when you are being patronizing.
- Brad Bird

I was the little white kid who rocked the turntables.
- Kid Rock

I could always flip between emotions and be available
to suddenly do something new.
I think it's a part of playing, and you hang onto it when you're a kid.
- Dominic Monaghan

As a kid growing up in the back streets of Dublin I
used to pretend I was playing in the World Cup with
my mates out on the streets,
and now I will be doing it for real.
- Robbie Keane

I love my children beyond all reason.
They're my joy, even when they're wild with kid energy.
- Christopher Meloni

I think you're the grumpy Kid in the Hall,
I'm the nice Kid in the Hall.
- Bruce McCulloch

As a kid, this is what I wanted my life to be.
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever dare to dream that it would be this.
- Smokey Robinson

I was always fascinated with rock 'n' roll,
or girls, or something like that when I was a kid.
- Gary Sinise

What I liked about American movies when I was a kid
was that they're sort of larger than life and I think
I'm still suffering from that reaction.
- Guy Ritchie

You want the best for your kid, but everybody's career
is completely different in this industry.
- Joely Fisher

When I was a kid, my dream was to be a farmer and marry Charlie Brown.
I wanted to rescue him and make him happy.
Besides, he was always lusting after the little redhead girl.
- Alicia Witt

I think there's a good kid underneath everybody.
I really do.
- Maury Povich

I had been a kid that moved so much,
I didn't have a lot of friends.
Theater really represented camaraderie.
- Francis Ford Coppola

I'm still a, you know, a silly girl...
a big kid.
- Coco Lee

I'm still the fat kid from high school who never had a date.
- Nathan Lane

It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun,
and people call it entertainment!
- Garth Brooks

Being a kid and growing up is such a cool part of life.
- Devon Werkheiser

I used to not stutter any.
Oh, I did when I was a kid, I stuttered,
I had a bad stutter until I was probably between the
second and third grade and a guy got rid of it for me.
- Lee Hazlewood

One of the things I like about jazz,
kid,
is I don't know what's going to happen next.
Do you?
- Bix Beiderbecke

Ever since I was a little kid, whenever my parents would have company over,
I would put on shows, whether they would be magic shows,
singing shows, dancing shows, little skits.
- Ellen Muth

I don't think about that.
I wasn't a kid growing up saying one day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.
That wasn't on my mind.
So what I do is the best work I can do.
- Adam Sandler

So a lot of me is still a little kid,
and I think that kind of helps alter my sense of reality -
it makes me able to just become Belle every single night.
- Christy Romano

I loved fairy tales when I was a kid.
Grimm.
The grimmer the better.
I loved gruesome gothic tales and, in that respect,
I liked Bible stories, because to me they were very gothic.
- Amy Tan

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid.
I vowed that I would never forget.
- Matt Groening

I like someone who's not afraid to be a kid!
- Vanessa Hudgens

When I was a kid and got in trouble,
I'd always say,
Mom, I'm in trouble.
Well, Mom, I'm in trouble.
- Earl Campbell

I suppose when I was a kid, and I went to movies,
and later went to some plays on my own when I got a little older,
in New Orleans, where I was living then,
I zeroed in on the actor.
- Ray Walston

I was the kind of kid whose parents would drop him
off at the local town library on their way to work,
and I'd go and work my way through the children's area.
- Neil Gaiman

Kids called me 'Skeletor' as a kid because I was so skinny.
- Cameron Diaz

I have known lots of adults who enjoyed similar enthusiasms
as a kid and weren't encouraged and then didn't go
anywhere with it and so they're unhappy in their jobs as adults.
- William Joyce

There will always be some kid who's the new Kurt Cobain
writing great lyrics and singing from his soul.
The problem is they're not marketing that anymore or putting it out there.
- Rosanna Arquette

I like to spread myself out.
Since I was a kid, I always recognized some void.
- Fred Ward

If you were a kid actor, if you had any plans of being an actor as an adult,
you were really barking up the wrong tree.
- Susan Olsen

I played piano as a kid; I still play a little bit.
- Bobby McFerrin

I played piano for about two years when I was a kid.
I didn't play long enough to be really great.
- Joanna Newsom

As a kid, I always was obsessed with Houdini.
- David Blaine

Then again, I think about high school every day and
I think about being a little kid every day too.
- Paul Westerberg

That was my dream, to drive for Ferrari,
but I am not a kid any more.
If Ferrari is the best team and if I get the chance to drive for Ferrari,
it would be with pleasure.
- Jean Alesi


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.