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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Greetings Quotes
Funny Quotes about Greetings

Let these funny Greetings Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

My greetings to you, my Germany.
- Alfred Jodl

Greetings and death to our enemies.
- Dan Aykroyd

How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains!
- John Muir


 

There is no friend like an old friend who has shared our morning days,
no greeting like his welcome, no homage like his praise.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Don't tell your friends about your indigestion.
"How are you" is a greeting, not a question.
- Arthur Guiterman

I ignore Hallmark Holidays.
And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.
- Berke Breathed


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I like conventions.
I like meeting and greeting.
I'm perched on that edge where I'm getting more attention
than I quite know what to do with,
though.
- Laurell K. Hamilton

Namaste is a greeting of unity and acceptance
that recognizes the equality of all,
and pays honor to the sacredness of interconnection.
The sense of Namaste is
"The God in me greets the God in you,
I bow to the divine in you."
While saying Namaste, press the palms of the hands together
in front of the heart and bow the head slightly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word.
At the end he handed me, as he had done before,
an envelope with money in it.
It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a
greeting or a loving word.
I would have been so pleased if he had.
- Eva Braun

As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and
touch and greet each other.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I do this?
Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again.
I will love the sun for it warms my bones;
yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.
I will love the light for it shows me the way;
yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars.
I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart;
yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due;
yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
- Og Mandino

And if you dont believe the sun will rise,
stand alone and greet the coming night in the last remaining light.
- Chris Cornell

Each morning my characters greet me with misty faces willing,
though chilled, to muster for another day's progress
through the dazzling quicksand the marsh of blank paper.
- John Updike

Nothing is more dreadful in life than the profound
thought that death may only greet you with eternal nothingness.
- Kim Elizabeth

Propaganda in the ordinary sense of the term plays
a less important part in a consumer society,
where people greet all official pronouncements with suspicion.
- Christopher Lasch

There is an invisible garment woven around us from our earliest years;
it is made of the way we eat,
the way we walk, the way we greet people.
- Jean Giraudoux

Not by appointment do we meet delight Or joy;
they heed not our expectancy; But round some corner
of the streets of life they of a sudden greet us with a smile.
- Gerald Massey

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and
left off for the rest of your life.
Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating
to meet and greet unknown fate.
- O. Henry

Take care, these Italians, full of failings,
are neither you, nor me; they are your neighbors,
the ones you meet on the staircase and whom you do not like to greet.
- Alberto Sordi

When an opponent comes forward, move in and greet him;
if he wants to pull back,
send him on his way.
- Morihei Ueshiba

Men greet each other with a sock on the arm,
women with a hug, and the hug wears better in the long run.
- Edward Hoagland

He must be independent and brave, and sure of himself
and of the importance of his work,
because if he isn't he will never survive the scorching
blasts of derision that will probably greet his first efforts.
- Robert E. Sherwood

We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.
- Dick Cheney

When Americans invade Iraq, Bush says,
we will be greeted as liberators by the Iraqi people,
proving that taking out Saddam Hussein was the right thing to do.
- Howard Fineman

Being identified as a poet in France or Denmark or
India one is greeted with gracious respect.
- James Broughton

My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by,
'So...
you're black.'
- Al Roker

And the greeter is what sets the tone for this company
and I've been on TV a little bit this morning.
- Lee Scott

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Laurence J. Peter

Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers,
telephones and television sets.
They ask - when will we get a road to our village.
- Thabo Mbeki

Cereal eating is almost a marker for a healthy lifestyle.
It sets you up for the day, so you don't overeat.
- Bruce Barton

Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain
about what he wants and sets out to get it,
no holds barred.
Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.
- Donald Trump

I've always had an inquisitive mind about everything
from flowers to television sets to motor cars.
Always pulled them apart - couldn't put 'em back,
but always extremely interested in how things work.
- Craig Johnston

In Japan, they have TV sets in cars right now,
where you can punch up traffic routes,
weather, everything!
You can get Internet access already in cars in Japan,
so within the next 2 to 3 years it's gonna be so crazy!
- Glenn Danzig

People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I don't like sitting around sets - I don't like the unpredictability of it.
- Andrea Martin

The truth sets you free.
It's a very liberating thing, when you say this is
who I am warts and all and then you can just get on with life.
It's amazing.
- Geri Halliwell

In my own recent String Trio I attempt to superimpose
two quite different sets of formal strategies,
both of which, ultimately, refer back to historical precedent.
- Brian Ferneyhough

When it sort of finally sets in that you're not going
to be doing that anymore...
it's disappointing.
- Will Arnett

Instead of seeing depression as a dysfunction,
it is a functioning phenomenon.
It stops you cold, sets you down, makes you damn miserable.
- James Hillman

My sun sets to raise again.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A picture is worth 10K words - but only those to describe the picture.
Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with pictures.
- Alan Perlis

Usually if nobody hates a piece, nobody loves it,
either; and a magazine which sets itself the goal of
provoking thought is not doing its job if everybody
agrees with what it does.
- Stanley Schmidt

For imagination sets the goal picture which our automatic mechanism works on.
We act, or fail to act, not because of will,
as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination.
- Maxwell Maltz

Nobody sets out to make a bad record.
- Alex Van Halen

Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap,
baits it, then steps in it.
- John Steinbeck

Judgment is more than skill.
It sets forth on intellectual seas beyond the shores
of hard indisputable factual information.
- Kingman Brewster, Jr.

Drilling in ANWR fails to lower energy prices today
and sets no long term energy strategy for tomorrow.
- Dan Lipinski

We need to drive like hell and get to the hills before the winter sets in.
- Steven Squyres

It's incredible how nature sets females up to take care of people,
and yet it is tricky for them to take care of themselves.
- Bjork

In opera, everyone's watching from a fixed viewpoint,
and that really challenges you.
Lighting, the sets, stage groupings,
the music-but doesn't relate too much to film.
- Bruce Beresford

There's too much insecurity on studio sets,
with all the people standing around,
whispering.
- Illeana Douglas

There is still a lot of misinformation being spread
about higher education funding arrangements under the new Act.
The students page on my website sets out the main points in the Act.
- Anne Campbell

It is odd but agitation or contest of any kind gives
a rebound to my spirits and sets me up for a time.
- Lord Byron

The great person is ahead of their time,
the smart make something out of it, and the blockhead,
sets themselves against it.
- Jean Baudrillard

A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence,
but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
- Joseph Addison

Unhappy is that Grandeur which makes us too great to be good;
and that Wit which sets us at a distance from true Wisdom.
- Mary Astell

There are a lot more TV sets in use on Monday night
than on Sunday afternoon.
- Pete Rozelle

Simultaneous recording with superimposed ionization
chambers and Wilson chambers,
ionization chambers and sets of counting tubes,
has not yet been carried out.
- Victor Francis Hess

At home it's all Batman and Star Wars and they do gang up on me.
Sometimes I don't want to dress up as Darth Vader or play train sets,
so I'll go out for a drink with the girls.
- Sadie Frost

I think middle-age is the best time,
if we can escape the fatty degeneration of the conscience
which often sets in at about fifty.
- William Ralph Inge

Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the
sun inexorably rises and sets,
and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last,
last time.
- James A. Baldwin

I grew up in the world of bad television,
on my dad's sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on.
- George Clooney

I couldn't care less about actors' trailers and food
on sets and stuff like that -
I just want to act.
- Chow Yun-Fat

Grinch had so many people in make up -
virtually everybody.
We had about 100 people a day for five months.
And every day we would use 100 sets of appliances.
- Rick Baker


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