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Let these funny Gravely Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau 
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
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Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.