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Let these funny Plato Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
There is no such thing as a lovers' oath.
- Plato
Life must be lived as play.
- Plato
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Music and rhythm find their way
into the secret places of the soul.
- Plato
The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato
Silence gives consent.
- Plato
The greatest wealth is to live content with little.
- Plato
The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost 
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.