Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Envious Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus 
Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others.
He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
- The Buddha
The Principal Causes of Our Suffering
are Our Expectations and Our Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The jealous are troublesome to others,
but a torment to themselves.
- William Penn
The flower which is single need not envy
the thorns that are numerous.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous
Envy breeds hate.
- Yiddish Proverb
It is not the man who has too little,
but the man who craves more, that is poor.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Envy comes from people's ignorance of,
or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
- Jean Vanier
Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another,
but let him work diligently and build one for himself,
thus by example assuring that his own
shall be safe from violence when built.
- Abraham Lincoln
Envy is the ulcer of the soul.
- Socrates
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy,
to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter,
and to lead but not manipulate.
- William Arthur Ward
Hatred is active, and envy passive dislike;
there is but one step from envy to hate.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
There comes a time in every man's education
when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance,
that imitation is suicide,
that he must take himself for better or for worse as his portion.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Thank you for visiting: Funny Envious Quotes - Funny Quotes about Envious.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.