Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Lean Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Know that anger is always fear and frustration.
What if we could lean back into the arms of Spirit
and trust the future?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Campaign behavior for wives:
Always be on time.
Do as little talking as humanly possible.
Lean back in the parade car
so everybody can see the president.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]
Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono
All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei
If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz
Thank you for visiting: Funny Lean Quotes - Funny Quotes about Lean.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.