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Funny Neighbor Quotes
Funny Quotes about Neighbor

Let these funny Neighbor Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job.
Depression is when you lose yours.
- Ronald Reagan

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton


 

All unhappiness comes from either
having less than yesterday,
or from having less than one's neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our unhappiness is triggered by either
having less than yesterday,
or having less than our neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain


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You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

From the equality of rights springs identity of our highest interests;
you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking
a dangerous blow at your own.
- Carl Schurz

We can never be the better for our religion
if our neighbor is the worse for it.
- Anonymous

Love your Neighbor; yet don't pull down your Hedge.
- Benjamin Franklin

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God.
- Thomas Jefferson

I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor.
Do you know your next door neighbor?
- Mother Teresa

People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates

(Jesus on Love)
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

If man asks for many laws it is only because he is
sure that his neighbor needs them;
privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist,
and thinks laws in his own case superfluous.
- Will Durant

A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbor's throat
without having his neighbor notice it.
- Trygve Lie

You may talk of the tyranny of Nero and Tiberius;
but the real tyranny is the tyranny of your next-door neighbor.
- Walter Bagehot

He alone loves the Creator perfectly who manifests
a pure love for his neighbor.
- Venerable Bede

I make no claim that Jewish culture is superior to
other cultures or that the Jewish song is better than the song of my neighbor.
- Theodore Bikel

How seldom we weigh our neighbor in the same balance with ourselves.
- Thomas Kempis

Every child should have a caring adult in their lives.
And that's not always a biological parent or family member.
It may be a friend or neighbor.
Often times it is a teacher.
- Joe Manchin

A man prone to suspect evil is mostly looking in his
neighbor for what he sees in himself.
- Augustus Hare

Bread for myself is a material question.
Bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one.
- Nikolai Berdyaev

Luckier than one's neighbor, but still not happy.
- Euripides

How much time he saves who does not look to see what
his neighbor says or does or thinks.
- Marcus Aurelius

A bad neighbor is as great a calamity as a good one is a great advantage.
- Hesiod

It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one's neighbor.
- Eric Hoffer

In the first place, our faith ought to lay hold on
Christ as God and man in that nature by which He has been made our neighbor,
kinsman, and brother.
- Martin Chemnitz

We wanted to bring the political situation in Austria on stage.
Naturally we could not do that without pointing to
Austrian's northern neighbor Germany.
- Leon Askin

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor,
Miss Cox.
She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.
- Tracey Ullman

The true privilege of being Mayor is that I have the
opportunity to be everyone's neighbor.
- Thomas Menino

To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for
regulating human society,
that by that alone one might determine all the cases in social morality.
- John Locke

The impersonal hand of government can never replace
the helping hand of a neighbor.
- Hubert H. Humphrey

You don't know how to love God and your neighbor unless
you look to the law to define it.
- Randall Terry

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's wall is ablaze.
- Horace

Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
- Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 5:43-44)

My goodness, everyone is planting grapes,
even a neighbor with only five acres.
- Doc Severinsen

You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17

A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good,
but for neglecting his neighbor's.
- Richard Whately

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence,
but doesn't climb over it.
- Arthur Baer

In the Lord's Prayer, the first petition is for daily bread.
No one can worship God or love his neighbor on an empty stomach.
- Woodrow Wilson

My neighbor has a circular driveway...
he can't get out.
- Steven Wright

Love your neighbor as yourself; but don't take down the fence.
- Carl Sandburg

Then a neighbor, Mr Smith, had a dairy cow and an couple bulls.
He showed me how to bluff a bull.
- Jim Fowler

Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace.
- Barry McGuire

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
- Kin Hubbard

For this is our most perfect duty and yet least known to us by nature:
Whatever we conceive or will should be joined with
the good of our neighbor.
- William Ames

It will be helpful in our mutual objective to allow
every man in America to look his neighbor in the face
and see a man-not a color.
- Adlai E. Stevenson

Russia is Germany's most important neighbor in the East,
and it will remain so.
- Helmut Kohl

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
- Horace

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My neighbor is now an 18-wheeler who comes by here 1,000 times a day.
- Gordon Smith

We made one film called Thy Neighbor's Wife in which
I got flogged at the public whipping post for adultery.
I did my best acting in that film, I guess.
- Cleo Moore

It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's
friend's neighbor's pet dog.
You've got to make the stakes high.
- Steven Seagal

In contentment and joy are found the height and perfection
of all love towards our neighbor.
- William Ames

The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.
- Horace

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
- Franklin P. Jones

Your best friend and worst enemy are both in this room right now.
It's not your neighbor right or left -
and it's not God or the devil -
it's you.
- Edwin Louis Cole

Flatter not thyself in thy faith in God if thou hast
not charity for thy neighbor.
- Francis Quarles

It is folly to punish your neighbor by fire when you live next door.
- Publilius Syrus

My neighbor doesn't want to be loved as much as he wants to be envied.
- Irving Layton

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife,
for there are plenty of others.
- Otto Rank

The Holy Spirit alone can do this, the Holy Spirit
alone can establish this link with one's neighbor.
- Jacques Ellul

There is a lust in man no charm can tame:
Of loudly publishing his neighbor's shame:
On eagles wings immortal scandals fly,
while virtuous actions are born and die.
- William Harvey

You can be a good neighbor only if you have good neighbors.
- Howard Koch

A book may be compared to your neighbor:
if it be good,
it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
- Rupert Brooke

Your neighbor's vision is as true for him as your own vision is true for you.
- Miguel de Unamuno

I'm sick of very white teeth and lots of gymnasium practice.
I'm bored, you know, send in the next one.
I wanted a real man that I could believe was my brother,
my father, you know, my next-door neighbor -
a real person.
- Tim Roth

There is nothing inherently fair about equalizing incomes.
If the government penalizes you for working harder than somebody else,
that is unfair.
If you save your money but retire with the same pension
as a free-spending neighbor,
that is also unfair.
- Arthur C. Brooks


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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