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Let these funny Earnest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
- Henry David Thoreau
Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business.
- Winston Churchill
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
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Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
In today's knowledge-based economy,
what you earn depends on what you learn.
- William J. Clinton
Merely to avoid harming others is not enough.
Earn your place in this world by doing good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A working definition of Honor is,
"respect or esteem that has been earned."
Contemplate that for a moment.
It would be very special to earn the respect and esteem
of our family, our friends, our co-workers, our community, wouldn't it?
If anything, it is of even more moment to honor yourself.
Those who are successful and happy earn their own
self-respect and self-esteem.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley
Humility must always be the portion of any man
who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers
and the sacrifices of his friends.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Never spend your money before you have earned it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A penny saved is a penny earned.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
A wise and frugal government,
which shall leave men free to regulate
their own pursuits of industry and improvement,
and shall not take from the mouth
of labor and the bread it has earned -
this is the sum of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.