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Funny Dies Quotes
Funny Quotes about Dies

Let these funny Dies Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
- Henry David Thoreau

Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins


When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.
- the movie Braveheart

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
- Dave Barry

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Love dies only when growth stops.
- Pearl S. Buck

Without work, all life goes rotten.
But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.
- Albert Camus

He who doesn't fear death dies only once.
- Giovanni Falcone

When faith is lost, when honor dies,
the man is dead.
- John Greenleaf Whittier

Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies.
- Elie Wiesel

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because
we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
- Anais Nin

Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.
- Errol Flynn

The love of gardening is a seed once sown that never dies.
- Gertrude Jekyll

Man always dies before he is fully born.
- Erich Fromm

A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies.
- Gustave Flaubert

Without freedom, no art; art lives only on the restraints it imposes on itself,
and dies of all others.
- Albert Camus

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us;
what we have done for others and the world
remains and is immortal.
- Albert Pike

He who is completely sanctified, or cleansed from all sin,
and dies in this state, is fit for glory.
- Adam Clarke

Nothing that is really good and God-like dies.
- Ernst Moritz Arndt

Cursed is the man who dies, but the evil done by him survives.
- Abu Bakr

One can pay back the loan of gold,
but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.
- Malayan Proverb

Everything that gets born dies.
- Morrie Schwartz

Fling but a stone, the giant dies.
- Matthew Green

If a tree dies, plant another in its place.
- Carolus Linnaeus

A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age;
he dies of being a man.
- Miguel de Unamuno

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty,
- John Donne

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow

Man dies of cold, not of darkness.
- Miguel de Unamuno

Faith... must be enforced by reason...
when faith becomes blind it dies.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The tyrant dies and his rule is over,
the martyr dies and his rule begins
- Soren Kierkegaard

Every man dies.
Not every man really lives.
- William Wallace

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog.
Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
- E. B. White

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Plants that wake when others sleep.
Timid jasmine buds that keep their fragrance to themselves all day,
but when the sunlight dies away let the delicious secret
out to every breeze that roams about.
- Thomas Moore

No hero is mortal till he dies.
- W. H. Auden

Nothing dies harder than a bad idea.
- Julia Cameron

Since he is of no use anymore, there is no gain if
he lives and no loss if he dies.
- Pol Pot

Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.
- Martin Heidegger

If it doesn't start with you, it dies with you.
- Julian Casablancas

Human nature is so well disposed towards those who
are in interesting situations,
that a young person, who either marries or dies,
is sure of being kindly spoken of.
- Jane Austen

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.
- Russell Baker

I had a wonderful time playing Dr. Kaufman in Tomorrow Never Dies.
It was a real Bond villain, over the top,
almost laughable but dangerous.
- Vincent Schiavelli

Softly the loud peal dies, In passing winds it drowns,
But breathes, like perfect joys, Tender tones.
- Frederick Tennyson

Trust dies but mistrust blossoms.
- Sophocles

Truth gets well if she is run over by a locomotive,
while error dies of lockjaw if she scratches her finger.
- William C. Bryant

This liberty will look easy by and by when nobody dies to get it.
- Maxwell Anderson

Men always do leave off really thinking,
when the last bit of wild animal dies in them.
- David Herbert Lawrence

The people under our system, like the king in a monarchy,
never dies.
- Martin Van Buren

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future.
- Ruth Benedict

What is lovely never dies, put passes into other loveliness.
- Thomas Bailey Aldrich

The abuse dies in a day, but the denial slays the life of the people,
and entombs the hope of the race.
- Charles Bradlaugh

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders
a pastrami on white bread,
somewhere a Jew dies.
- Milton Berle

Nothing ever quite dies, it just comes back in a different form.
- Lester Bangs

We are ne'er like angels till our passion dies.
- Thomas Dekker

Pain dies quickly, and lets her weary prisoners go;
the fiercest agonies have shortest reign.
- William C. Bryant

Postfix keeps running even if one Postfix process dies;
Windows requires that someone restarts the service.
- Wietse Venema

The scattered tea goes with the leaves and every day a sunset dies.
- William Faulkner

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.
Nobody that matters, that is.
- Edna St.
Vincent Millay

Wherever it is resisted, slaver dies away and freedom grows.
- Henry Charles Carey

The world dies over and over again, but the skeleton
always gets up and walks.
- Henry Miller

Where liberty dies, evil grows.
- Hamid Karzai

A celibate, like the fly in the heart of an apple,
dwells in a perpetual sweetness, but sits alone,
and is confined and dies in singularity.
- Jeremy Taylor

God - a disease we imagine we are cured of because
no one dies of it nowadays.
- Emile M. Cioran

But if somebody dies, if something happens to you,
there is a normal process of depression,
it is part of being human, and some people view it
as a learning experience etc.
- Bob Geldof

The man who dies rich, dies in disgrace.
- Tom Hunter

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married
there are no unresolved areas,
nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
- Nigella Lawson

I see music as one language.
If one musical form eats its own tail,
it dies.
So it needs to be a mongrel, it needs to be hybridised.
- Sting

It lies in the hearts of men and women;
when it dies there,
no constitution, no law, no court can save it.
While it lies there, it needs no constitution,
no law, no court to save it.
- Learned Hand

It's either not good enough and dies altogether,
or it develops.
- Ninette de Valois

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.