Funny Computers Quotes - Funny Quotes about Computers

Funny Computers Quotes
Funny Quotes about Computers

Let these funny Computers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Globalization, as defined by rich people like us,
is a very nice thing...
you are talking about the Internet,
you are talking about cell phones,
you are talking about computers.
This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world.
- Jimmy Carter

Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer,
in my mind I am free.
- Stephen Hawking

The newest computer can merely compound, at speed,
the oldest problem in the relations between human beings,
and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem,
of what to say and how to say it.
- Edward R. Murrow

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Although prepared for martyrdom,
I preferred that it be postponed.
- Winston Churchill

Although the world is full of suffering,
it is full also of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller

Truth cannot be defined,
although it can certainly be experienced.
But experience is not a definition.
A definition is made by the mind,
experience comes through participating.
If somebody asks, "What is a dance?" how can you define it?
But you can dance and you can know the inner feel of it.
God is the ultimate dance.
- Osho

Although the world is full of suffering,
it is full also of the overcoming of it.
My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil,
but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good
and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good,
that it may prevail.
- Helen Keller

"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.

Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience
it is necessary for us to do the opposite,
that is to commence with experience
and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense
of what not to believe.
- Euripides

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

As you discover your daily good,
and believe in it, and think about it,
expect it to continue.
- Ernest Holmes

Believe in yourself, and trust your own wisdom
rather than being swayed by the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha

Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe in yourself. Dream big dreams.
Set important goals. Take action on those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing
was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.
- Margaret Mead

It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Computers Quotes
Funny Quotes about Computers