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Let these funny Clothed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
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It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser
You don't love someone for their looks,
or their clothes, or for their fancy car,
but because they sing a song only you can hear.
- Anonymous
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Are creeds such simple things like the clothes
which a man can change at will - and put on at will?
Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Few people know how to take a walk.
The qualifications are endurance,
plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature,
good humor, vast curiosity, good speech,
good silence and nothing too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
We can no more do without spirituality
than we can do without food, shelter, or clothing.
- Ernest Holmes
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.