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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Cold Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cold

Let these funny Cold Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The intellect is a cold thing
and a merely intellectual idea
will never stimulate thought
in the same manner that a spiritual idea does.
- Ernest Holmes

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing


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Just another cold, misty morning inviting,
"want to go again?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.
- Billy Graham


 

If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.
- Horace Traubel

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard

On this day, as on every day,
we Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving.
We have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring us to this moment.
We give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of our courage
and the cold sweat of our fear.
We accept gratefully the entirety
of our past and our present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative
of the dignity of my high vocation,
and its many responsibilities.
Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way
to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.
- Mother Teresa

The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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