Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Perfect Quotes
Funny Quotes about Perfect

Let these funny Perfect Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
- Yogi Berra

None of us is perfect - and that's OK.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Practice does not make perfect,
perfect practice makes perfect.
- Vince Lombardi


 

Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline;
simulated fear postulates courage;
simulated weakness postulates strength.
- Lao Tzu

To improve is to change;
to be perfect is to change often.
- Winston Churchill

The world is perfect the way it is.
- Werner Erhard

Practice makes perfect.
- Anonymous

You can't live a perfect day without doing something
for someone who will never be able to repay you.
- John Wooden

Happiness is the final and perfect fruit
of obedience to the laws of life.
- Helen Keller

I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day is a Perfect Day when I say it is;
and I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day is the perfect day to ask yourself
questions about your life goals,
and how you plan to address those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie

You are perfect exactly the way you are.
- Werner Erhard

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

Your life within God's arms,
Your dance within God's arms,
Is already Perfect!
- Hafiz

Today is a perfect day to be happy.
Every day is a perfect day to be happy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that your true self,
a spiritual being,
is always perfect.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds
her own face in a perfect mirror.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous

It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions;
it is easy in solitude to live after your own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man who was completely innocent,
offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others,
including his enemies,
and became the ransom of the world.
It was a perfect act.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just as in the comedies, a person who is in love
with the idea of love sees prospective partners
through the lens of idealism.
The reaction is, "This must be the one.
They are so perfect - the match of my dreams."
Is that person they just met a perfect match?
It's unlikely their friends think so.
So what happened? That person with the cute smile
was not much more than a mirror for the hopes and dreams
of the one in love with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The gem cannot be polished without friction,
nor man perfected without trials.
- Confucius

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Do not wish to be anything but what you are,
and try to be that perfectly.
- St. Francis De Sales

Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations
comes nearest to perfection.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Perfection is the obstacle of creation
and the enemy of achievement.
- Neale Donald Walsch

The essence of being human is that one
does not seek perfection.
- George Orwell

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward
is to move toward perfection.
March on, and fear not the thorns,
or the sharp stones on life's path.
- Khalil Gibran

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

A perfection of means,
and confusion of aims,
seems to be our main problem.
- Albert Einstein

Ethics is the activity of man directed to secure
the inner perfection of his own personality.
- Albert Schweitzer

Life is not about perfection -
or a quest for perfection.
Life is about enjoying what we have -
for as long as we have it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus

A principle is the expression of perfection,
and as imperfect beings like us cannot practice perfection,
we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people
is that they trigger confusion in us
that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with.
To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves,
we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.
- Pema Chodron

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.
- Lao Tzu

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein

Most people don't CHOOSE their value system -
they simply inherit the beliefs of their parents and community.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive,
but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Aim above morality.
Be not simply good,
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau


Thank you for visiting: Funny Perfect Quotes - Funny Quotes about Perfect.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to
Jonathan Lockwood Huie's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.