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Funny Christianity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Christianity

Let these funny Christianity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolph Hitler

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung


 

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolph Hitler

The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness.
- William Blake


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I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen:
not only because I see it,
but because by it I see everything else.
- C. S. Lewis

To us, basing stories on christianity is the same as
basing stories on Roman mythology,
Native American folklore, or unsubstantiated government conspiracies.
- Richard King

Every fundamentalist movement I've studied in Judaism,
Christianity and Islam is convinced at some gut,
visceral level that secular liberal society wants to wipe out religion.
- Karen Armstrong

Science has done more for the development of western
civilization in one hundred years than Christianity
did in eighteen hundred years.
- John Burroughs

Christianity is the only major religion to have as
its central event the humiliation of its God.
- Bruce Shelley

It is an invention of the devil, an infernal falsity
for the destruction of all Christianity.
- Michael Servetus

I realized there was very little in Hollywood I would
ever feel comfortable doing.
If I kept one foot there and one foot in my Christianity,
I would never grow.
- Willie Aames

In speaking of Jesus, I must speak about Christianity
because I do not think it possible or profitable to divide the two.
- Lionel Blue

To be frank, I suspect that today there is little respect
for Christianity as source of moral teaching about goodness.
- Timothy Radcliffe

The real evidence for Jesus and Christianity is in
how Jesus and the Christianity based on him manifest
themselves in the lives of practicing Christians.
- Lionel Blue

What is happening within Christianity is that it doesn't
know it needs to promote itself.
- Stephen Baldwin

I won't say that the papers misquote me,
but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be
today if some of those reporters had been Matthew,
Mark, Luke and John.
- Barry Goldwater

Having embraced Islam, I felt as if I were born again.
I found in Islam the answers to those queries which
I had failed to find in Christianity.
- Jermaine Jackson

I can't get very far away from Christianity,
I can't get very far away from the angels and the saints.
I work them in always, in some way.
- Anne Rice

The answer, of course, in the mouth of a Christian
teacher is that in Christianity alone is there both
present joy and future hope.
- Mary A. Ward

Christianity is the greatest civilizing,
moulding, uplifting power on this globe.
- Mark Hopkins

The proof that God has revealed himself to man by special
and express communications,
and that Christianity constitutes that revelation,
is no part of these inquiries.
- Simon Greenleaf

But in Christianity, by contrast, the freedom of the
children of God was also freedom from all important worldly interests,
from all art and science, etc.
- Bruno Bauer

I have ended as a Reform Rabbi, grateful to Christianity for so many good things.
- Lionel Blue

Unlike Christianity, which preached a peace that it never achieved,
Islam unashamedly came with a sword.
- Steven Runciman

The Lord God, the creator of Judaism and the God of
Judaism and Christianity,
empowered our minds and gave us the ability to question.
- Michael Novak

Nothing is more generally known than our duties which belong to Christianity;
and yet,
how amazing is it, nothing is less practiced?
- George Whitefield

The next challenge for Christianity is to remind Europeans
that we are called to seek the truth.
- Timothy Radcliffe

The time has come when the whole world must be concerned about me.
From now on, American Christianity must follow me.
- Sun Myung Moon

Jews do not have to be Christians.
Christianity is an offshoot of Judaism,
but too utopian, too hopeful, too unrealistic a turn.
- Michael Novak

Christianity had two faces which bewildered me -
two pictures which didn't fit.
- Lionel Blue

A Christianity that is in conflict with the Scriptures
isn't Christianity at all.
- Randall Terry

The system of idolatry, invented by modern christianity,
far surpasses in absurdity anything that we have ever heard of.
- Orson Pratt

How natural that the errors of the ancient should be handed down and,
mixing with the principles and system which Christ taught,
give to us an adulterated Christianity.
- Olympia Brown

No Christian can be a pessimist, for Christianity is
a system of radical optimism.
- William Ralph Inge

Clearly a big challenge for Christianity is how to
remain in contact with the millions of people who look
for God but do not come to Church.
- Timothy Radcliffe

Let the professors of Christianity recommend their
religion by deeds of benevolence -
by Christian meekness -
by lives of temperance and holiness.
- Richard Mentor Johnson

Christianity has always seemed to fight a losing battle against race.
- Charles Hamilton Houston

In the early days of Christianity the exercise of chastity
was frequently combined with a close and romantic intimacy
of affection between the sexes which shocked austere moralists.
- Havelock Ellis

Individual freedom is a Jewish idea,
but it's one of the functions of Christianity to make this idea universal.
- Michael Novak

The primary source of the appeal of Christianity was Jesus -
His incarnation,
His life, His crucifixion, and His resurrection.
- Kenneth Scott Latourette

The failure of Christianity in the areas west from Sicily was even greater,
and was increased by the spread of Arab outlooks and influence to that area,
and especially to Spain.
- Carroll Quigley

Superficial similarities exist between Christianity
and some ancient pagan religions.
But careful study reveals that there are far more dissimilarities.
- Carl Olson

Nothing is more depressing and more illogical than aggressive Christianity.
- Gerald Vann

Democracy, as has been said of Christianity,
has never really been tried.
- Stuart Chase

Acceptance of the power of God in one's life lays the
groundwork for personal commitment to both science and Christianity,
which so often have been in conflict.
- Kenneth L. Pike

But my doubt would not be overcome.
Kierkegaard had declared that it was only to the consciousness
of sin that Christianity was not horror or madness.
For me it was sometimes both.
- Georg Brandes

Love is the hardest lesson in Christianity;
but,
for that reason, it should be most our care to learn it.
- William Penn

Christianity means a lot more than church membership.
- Billy Sunday

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting;
it has been found difficult and not tried.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

National Socialism and Christianity are irreconcilable.
- Martin Bormann

Christianity has made of death a terror which was unknown
to the gay calmness of the Pagan.
- Ouida

Christianity is not a theory or speculation,
but a life; not a philosophy of life,
but a life and a living process.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Christianity, democracy, science, education,
wealth, and the cumulative inheritance of a thousand years,
have not preserved us from the vain repetition of history.
- Ralph A. Cram

Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell.
- Frank Borman

All the faults of the age come from Christianity and journalism.
Christianity, of course, but why journalism?
- Frank Harris

Christianity supplies a Hell for the people who disagree
with you and a Heaven for your friends.
- Elbert Hubbard

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that
the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that
though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.
- Hector Hugh Munro

Christianity affects your whole life.
I feel I'm more competitive, a better player,
but off the field is where there is always a battle.
- Barry Sanders

During the Second World War, evacuated to non-Jewish households,
I encountered Christianity at home and in school.
- Lionel Blue

After I set out to refute Christianity intellectually and couldn't,
I came to the conclusion the Bible was true and Jesus Christ was God's Son.
- Josh McDowell

Organized Christianity has probably done more to retard
the ideals that were its founder's than any other agency in the world.
- Richard Le Gallienne

If there ever was a religious war full of terror,
it was the crusades.
But you can't blame Christianity because a few adventurers did this.
That's my message.
- Moustapha Akkad

It is not Christianity, but priestcraft that has subjected woman as we find her.
- Lucretia Mott

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for
the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.
- Lord Byron

Christianity stands or falls as a living program,
a way of life, made concrete in the life of man by
the life of God through the life of the concretely living Christ.
- Kenneth L. Pike

The Gateway to Christianity is not through an intricate labyrinth of dogma,
but by a simple belief in the person of Christ.
- Norman Vincent Peale

The essential point of view of Christianity is sin.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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