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Funny Christianity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Christianity

Let these funny Christianity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon


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Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume

Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa

The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

God has given us two hands, one to receive with
and the other to give with.
- Billy Graham

The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full.
- John 16:24

Prayer is simply a two-way conversation between you and God.
- Billy Graham

It is my own firm belief that the strength of the soul
grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When you read God's Word, you must
constantly be saying to yourself,
"It is talking to me, and about me."
- Soren Kierkegaard

The smallest seed of faith is better than
the largest fruit of happiness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
- Psalm 16:1

I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives
when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ.
- Jimmy Carter

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love,
of kindness, of understanding, of peace.
Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God -
the rest will be given.
- Mother Teresa

Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jesus preached more and taught more
about helping the poor and the sick and the hungry
than he did about heaven and hell.
Shouldn't that tell us something?
- John Grisham

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi

Your worst days are never so bad
that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.
And your best days are never so good
that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
- Anonymous

I do not pray for success,
I ask for faithfulness.
- Mother Teresa

It is not fitting, when one is in God's service,
to have a gloomy face or a chilling look.
- St. Francis of Assisi

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.
- Psalm 18:2

Christmas ... is not a date. It is a state of mind.
- Mary Ellen Chase

We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis

As you sow, so shall you reap.
- Galatians 6:7

A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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