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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Rose Quotes
Funny Quotes about Rose

Let these funny Rose Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

Fame is the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold;
But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia


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Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

Like a Rose, I Thrive -
Blessed With Both My Thorns and My Blooms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.
- Mark Overby


 

There is no neutrality.
There is only greater or lesser
awareness of one's bias.
- Phyllis Rose

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
- Robert Burns

Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
- Walter Hagen

Who can suffer while roses bloom
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Truths and roses have thorns about them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself,
and know that everything in life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences,
all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.