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John Lennon Quotes
Funny Quotes by John Lennon

Let these funny John Lennon Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon


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I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon


 

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon

Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon

If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon

Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon PHOTO

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon

All we are saying is give peace a chance.
- John Lennon

I get by with a little help from my friends.
- John Lennon

Yeah we all shine on, like the moon,
and the stars, and the sun.
- John Lennon

You either get tired fighting for peace, or you die.
- John Lennon

You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon

You don't need anybody to tell you
who you are or what you are.
You are what you are!
- John Lennon

Imagine ... Imagine no religion.
- John Lennon

All you need is love.
- John Lennon

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon

The more I see, the less I know for sure.
- John Lennon

A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon

Imagine...
- John Lennon

Love is the answer, and you know that for sure;
Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
- John Lennon

The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities
and the responsibility that we all had.
It wasn't the answer.
It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
- John Lennon

Part of me suspects that I'm a loser,
and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
- John Lennon

Everything is clearer when you're in love.
- John Lennon

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard
or just think it's going to get on by itself.
You've got to keep watering it.
You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
- John Lennon

I believe in everything until it's disproved.
So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.
It all exists, even if it's in your mind.
Who's to say that dreams and nightmares
aren't as real as the here and now?
- John Lennon

My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role,
is to try and express what we all feel.
Not to tell people how to feel.
Not as a preacher, not as a leader,
but as a reflection of us all.
- John Lennon

He didn't come out of my belly, but my God,
I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal,
and how he sleeps,
and the fact that he swims like a fish
because I took him to the ocean.
I'm so proud of all those things.
But he is my biggest pride.
- John Lennon

I believe in God, but not as one thing,
not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God
is something in all of us.
I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha
and all the rest said was right.
It's just that the translations have gone wrong.
- John Lennon

If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon

Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon

Surrealism had a great effect on me
because then I realized that
the imagery in my mind wasn't insanity.
Surrealism to me is reality.
- John Lennon

Rituals are important.
Nowadays it's hip not to be married.
I'm not interested in being hip.
- John Lennon

We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation,
a ship going to discover the New World.
And the Beatles were in the crow's nest of that ship.
- John Lennon

If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon

It was like being in the eye of a hurricane.
You'd wake up in a concert and think,
Wow, how did I get here?
- John Lennon

The postman wants an autograph.
The cab driver wants a picture.
The waitress wants a handshake.
Everyone wants a piece of you.
- John Lennon

I'm not going to change the way I look
or the way I feel to conform to anything.
I've always been a freak.
So I've been a freak all my life
and I have to live with that, you know.
I'm one of those people.
- John Lennon

The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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