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Let these funny Heathen Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa
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Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa
The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume
Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa
It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible
The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous
When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain
Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken
If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7
We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa
To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them
which despitefully use you and persecute you.
- Matthew 5:44
Jesus preached more and taught more
about helping the poor and the sick and the hungry
than he did about heaven and hell.
Shouldn't that tell us something?
- John Grisham
Now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
- Corinthians 13:13
Words which do not give the
light of Christ increase the darkness.
- Mother Teresa
If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives
when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ.
- Jimmy Carter
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
Not paying a just wage, not giving work,
only because one is looking at the bottom line,
at the budget of the company, seeking only profit -
that is against God.
- Pope Francis
A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23
What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14
There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
- Matthew 7:7
Prayer is simply a two-way conversation between you and God.
- Billy Graham
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.
- Psalm 18:2
Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself.
Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor
for helping us to love God better because of them.
- Mother Teresa
Day by day we should weigh what we have
granted to the spirit of the world
against what we have denied to the spirit of Jesus,
in thought and especially in deed.
- Albert Schweitzer
This is what the Lord asks of you: only this,
to act justly, to love tenderly,
and to walk humbly with your God.
- Micah 6:8
Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver
Your worst days are never so bad
that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.
And your best days are never so good
that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
- Anonymous
Above all the grace and the gifts
that Christ gives to his beloved
is that of overcoming self.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
I have been all things unholy.
If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa
I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.