Facebook share Tweet This Email this
If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates
Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates
Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates
Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.
- Socrates
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates
Worthless people live only to eat and drink;
people of worth eat and drink only to live.
- Socrates
Let him that would move the world first move himself.
- Socrates
I know that I am intelligent,
because I know that I know nothing.
- Socrates
True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize
how little we understand about life,
ourselves, and the world around us.
- Socrates
The shortest and surest way to
live with honor in the world,
is to be in reality
what we would appear to be.
- Socrates
An honest man is always a child.
- Socrates
The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor
to be what you desire to appear.
- Socrates
Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings,
so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
- Socrates
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
- Socrates
I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates
The envious person grows lean
with the fatness of their neighbor.
- Socrates
Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
- Socrates
The greatest way to live with honor in this world
is to be what we pretend to be.
- Socrates
He is richest who is content with the least.
- Socrates
Wisdom begins in wonder.
- Socrates
Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
- Socrates
False words are not only evil in themselves,
but they infect the soul with evil.
- Socrates
It is not living that matters, but living rightly.
- Socrates
The end of life is to be like God,
and the soul following God will be like Him.
- Socrates
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
Envy is the ulcer of the soul.
- Socrates
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
- Socrates
All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates
Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates
A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates
Be as you wish to seem.
- Socrates
The unexamined life is not worth living.
- Socrates
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.
- Socrates
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
Not life, but good life,
is to be chiefly valued.
- Socrates
Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates
One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates
I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates
Where there is reverence there is fear,
but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear,
because fear presumably has a wider
extension than reverence.
- Socrates
The poets are only the interpreters of the Gods.
- Socrates
To accuse others for one's own misfortunes
is a sign of want of education.
To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun.
To accuse neither oneself nor others
shows that one's education is complete.
- Epictetus
Friendship is but another name for an alliance
with the follies and the misfortunes of others.
Our own share of miseries is sufficient:
why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
- Thomas Jefferson
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill
Thank you for visiting: If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap by Socrates.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.