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Let these funny Loves Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon
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He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
If misery loves company, misery has company enough.
- Henry David Thoreau
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung
He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
- Rabindranath Tagore
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
- Vipin Sharma
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.