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Funny Wealth Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wealth

Let these funny Wealth Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil

He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates PHOTO

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson


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If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

Whoever does not regard what he has
as most ample wealth, is unhappy,
though he be master of the world.
- Epictetus

Give to your relatives, and to the needy, and to travelers.
Do not squander your wealth in wantonness.
- Quran 17:26


 

Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous

The greatest wealth is to live content with little.
- Plato

It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship.
- The Buddha

The only wealth which you will keep forever
is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus

Our journey into consciousness of wealth
begins with the realization that we have already arrived!
- Michael Bernard Beckwith

The first wealth is health.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Books are the treasured wealth of the world
and the fit inheritance of generations and nations.
- Henry David Thoreau

The spirit of man is more important than mere physical strength,
and the spiritual fiber of a nation than its wealth.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau

No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman

I look forward to a great future for America -
a future in which our country will match its military strength
with our moral restraint,
its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose.
- John F. Kennedy

Balance activity with serenity,
wealth with simplicity,
persistence with innovation,
community with solitude,
familiarity with adventure,
constancy with change,
leading with following.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Working at a job you hate is unlikely
to bring you either happiness or success.
Do what you love. You are far more likely to gain success -
recognition and financial reward - if you are working
at something that inspires and excites you.
And, whether wealth follows or not, you will be happy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I were to wish for anything,
I should not wish for wealth and power,
but for the passionate sense of potential -
for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible.
Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend.
I have no wealth to bestow on him.
If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward.
Is not friendship divine in this?
- Henry David Thoreau

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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