Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Ample Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Whoever does not regard what he has
as most ample wealth, is unhappy,
though he be master of the world.
- Epictetus
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
- Anne Frank
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein
Love is an act of faith,
and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
- Erich Fromm
Nothing is more valuable than your self respect.
When you lose respect for yourself, you have lost everything.
Whatever it takes, and whoever you upset,
do what you know - deep inside - is the right thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen
Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho
When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel
We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa
Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Know that where there is love, nothing is missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Thank you for visiting: Funny Ample Quotes - Funny Quotes about Ample.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.