Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Usefully Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more.
- Thomas Jefferson
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard
I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I have called this principle,
by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved,
by the term of Natural Selection.
- Charles Darwin
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind -
A Mind is Only Useful When Tamed..
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who is successful is the man who is useful.
- Bourke Cockran
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
Competition has been shown to be useful
up to a certain point and no further,
but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today,
begins where competition leaves off.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Don't Let It Poison Your Day.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... the Antidote is Perspective.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Your Mind is Only Useful When Tamed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Autobiographies are only as useful
as the lives you read about and analyze
may suggest to you something that
you may find useful in your own journey through life.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Friendship is the only thing in the world
concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed.
- Cicero
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
Thank you for visiting: Funny Usefully Quotes - Funny Quotes about Usefully.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.